4.08.2014

Politics should be spelled F-A-M-I-L-Y

I didn't blog yesterday........did you miss me? I'm going to start closing every Blog with a question because Holly says to and I always follow the cool kids. Now if I could just figure out how to respond to comments via e-mail we would be all good. Moving on.....


My family is about as bat shit crazy as you anyone can imagine. Sure we help each other out and would do anything for each other but the other 95% of the time it is all about politics.

There are some rules in my family that are not negotiable

1- Never turn down a beer or a shot. Unless your with child and then you must still tag along on drinking binges because hello built in DD this includes day drinking and night drinking. It's always drink o'clock in my family.

2-A happy birthday must be wished on the day or it doesn't count. Example- Party is on May 28th actual birthday June 2nd. I attended the party and gave a gift but if I don't call on June 2nd I'm on the shit list.

3- Thank you's must be sent with in 6 weeks.

4- Cake is a must for all birthday's. You don't like cake? Oh well eat some anyway or you will be questioned to death.

5- If you invite one you invite them all. You haven't seen your cousin that lives in Florida in 3 months oh well you still send them an invite even though you know they won't come. The non invitation is like a bitch slap. Even if they say who the eff is Katlin Smith because they don't know your married name you still have to send it.

6- You go whenever they need you. So what they called you during a wind storm and you lost power they need you to upload a picture to their new website you drop everything and help.



Grayson's party was March 7th. Someone in my family read in a Ms.Manners book once that you send Thank you cards for a 1st birthday. When I found that out I wanted to track down Ms. Manners and give her a good throat punch.

Shit got really crazy in this neck of the woods and it has been one month since said party and this bitch over here has not sent out Thank you cards. Whoops. So I hopped on Wal-Mart.com and found some one hour photo card that I could slap my adorable kids face on and call it a day.



I mentioned it to my mother and was told it's not personal enough. Well shit I already ordered and picked them up. Now what. I do the most classy thing I can do and I write on the back of them. All 25 of them.

I know that no one gives a crap if I write a personal message. They don't care once they see that gorgeous round face and perfect little two teeth smile. But 25 stamps, half the skin off my tongue missing from licking envelopes and a hand cramp later they are all sent out.

And within the 6 week deadline. I made it barely just barley and hopefully I can stay off the shit list until I forget a birthday or say cake isn't in my diet.

Anyone else have a crazy family?