Coffee Chit Chat

If we were going to share a cup of coffee here are a few things I would tell you

This is my favorite mug it is 24oz and was $5 all the heart eyes for this mug!

I love coffee but I love it with a little too much creamer so I limit myself to one cup a day. Also I'm probably drinking cold coffee while trying to fold laundry because I always have all the laundry. 

Our weather has been crazy. We went from 50's to bam 80's & 90's. This weekend was unbearably hot and both of the babies screamed when I put them in the baby pool so there's that. However fat baby legs in shorts and dresses are enough to do me in I love them.

I started my new schedule at work today. I'm going to a four day work week and so yeah I'm excited. I get Friday's off so I have nice lovely 3 day weekends all the time. Plus saving that day of not having the kids in daycare (come September) will be huge.

Grayson had a weird 24 hour bug and then of course Michael caught it because that's what those two do. It was a fever and chills for the first 12 then a quick throw up then exhaustion then fine. It was crazy and I was so thankful my dad could go and pick up Grayson from school on Friday and keep him overnight so that he could get undivided attention.

So about a month ago for the first time ever I met Michael's biological father. It was crazy. After 20 years Michael saw his father again and met his brother for the first time. It was a surreal experience and the plan is to see them all again this weekend for a cookout so they can meet the kiddos.

Grayson had his Nursery School Graduation this Friday and I'm excited/sad. He's getting so big so fast but man do I love him at this age. He's so cool and fun and still (over a year later) the sweetest big brother there ever was.

It only took me 14 months but the twins room is finally to how I like it. It might be my favorite room in the house right now because it is the most organized! Love having all the storage for them with the two new dressers and finally hung up some of our new family pictures. 

I stayed up way to late with Michael last night watching The Town. I'm exhausted today and so maybe I will bend my own rules of just one cup. Just for today.

Happy Monday



Linking up with Andrea today to talk about some struggles

I'm about to let you know how crazy my brain really is and how I struggle through this thing called parenthood and marriage and oh ya know just day to day life

Being a working mom

And all the working Mom's said Amen. I mean really. I love my job I love working outside the home we need me to work outside the home but man some days it is hard. I love my babies. I love being home with them and not having to put on make up everyday. I get overwhelmed with the laundry that piles up (that's a whole struggle on it's own because man we live out of baskets a ton) my house that's not perfect and the small sand castle that is on the floor of my bathroom because I keep getting distracted on my way to get the dust buster. I feel bad that sometimes my kid listens to his teacher at daycare better than me or that my sweet baby girl willingly goes to her teacher when I drop her off in the morning. That pulls at my heart strings like no ones business. But then I pick them up and they have done crafts (really cool hard ones) and they have eaten two new foods (Marshall and Charlotte not Grayson ha!) Those are things that if they were home with me everyday would not happen because I don't have the patience to finger paint with one year old's and I like to serve a variety of cheese and fruit and PB&J.
I read on a blog once that you can be a great employee, a great wife, a great mom but your not going to be great at all of those on the same day and that is so so true!

Being a horrible wife

Okay that's a little over the top but really I'm not always great at being a wife. My kids pull at me and I answer. And then by the time they are in my bed man am I spent. I have very little left to give and some days I'm super selfish and keep that little bit to myself. But I need to be better about this because that man is amazing. He doesn't ask for much he serves our family so so good and he works his tail off to support us. Most days he is exhausted too and so we both look at each other and say "Today was hard but I still love you so much can we just lay here and watch a crap tv show" 9 times out of 10 we are on the same page. But we need to put some more into our marriage. We have a trip planned and we have a few date nights on the calendar. He is the first person I snip at when I'm overwhelmed but he is also the first person to forgive me for the snip and try and help me out of that hole. Our journal that we write love notes back in forth to each other has helped us so much. It's nice to see it in front of you and sometimes on my darkest marriage days I read back through those and it pulls me out. 

Equal time with my kids

Man is this hard. I feel like a broken record but twins are a total game changer. I feel like Grayson gets short changed because I can't always go outside because it's almost the babies nap time or lunch time or one of them just pooped you know a million things. But then the babies well they are never apart. In the last year they have been separated maybe 5 times and I try not to think of them as a package deal but most times they are. I feel like they all need some undivided attention but with the ages of the twins it's hard to do that. Michael and I have been discussing this a lot lately mostly for Grayson because he is more aware and we are working on some solutions for this. 

Me time
Wait what? I'm the worst at this. I pass up a pedicure because I have already been gone from the house for work that day. I pass going for a walk alone because Grayson and Marshall want to come. But sometimes I need it. So I need to work on filling my cup too. You know that whole think that everyone says you can't pour from an empty one well I try to a lot and often it ends in tears from all parties. 

Some smaller struggles

Not eating dessert every night because my thighs really don't need it but my heart says enjoy the darn ice cream

Living our of laundry baskets

Relaxing vs. crossing something off the never ending to do list

Can I really go one more day without washing my hair?

Happy Tuesday!


It's all down hill from here

Well it happened. On Friday I turned the big three-oh.  THIRTY

I remember being a kid and thinking how old my mother seemed at 32. Well folks now I'm there only thing is my kid things I'm 9746. Should probably get to working on the whole age thing with him. 

I had the best birthday weekend. Normally I don't take a whole weekend but it just kind of worked out that way this year. 

Friday (my actual birthday) Michael and I both took the day off. We dropped the nuggets off at daycare and headed to breakfast. We went to Tim Horton's got a breakfast sandwich and some coffee and just enjoyed our breakfast. 

Then we headed to do some birthday shopping for me. We hit up Target first and got some good deals. I of course could not resist some cute clothes for the kiddos and we needed diapers so we grabbed those too. But it was so nice to not have to worry about rushing back to the kids or having to go before a meltdown started. We just walked the isle's and looked at whatever we wanted. I cannot tell you the last time we did that.

We left Target and headed to the Christmas Tree Shops. I got a giant coffee mug and some sand buckets for the kids for my mom's house. It was a quick stop but that coffee mug made it worth it.

We headed to lunch at my favorite place for chicken tenders. Tully's. It is a local chain, there are 5 in total 3 local and 2 in Syracuse. Funny enough Michael knows the owner because they used to play pool together in Syracuse. We decided to eat at the bar because it was empty and we love eating at the bar. A plate of loaded fries later and an order of Tully's tenders and we were off to the mall.

I needed some new bra's because things have finally settled after having the twins and they have settled way south so I needed some help in that department. 

We then went to get me a new set of kicks. I got the best sneakers. They felt awesome from the time I put them on and I'm in love with them. We were shopped out and I had blown through my birthday budget. So we found a parking spot in the shade locked the doors and took a half an hour nap in the car (!!!) #parentsoftwinsthatareteething

We then headed to pick up our nuggets and grab a pizza for dinner. My parents and sister came over for cake then we crashed into bed. 

Saturday I had my second micro-derm facial and then I swung by to get steaks for dinner that night. After nap my sweet mom and aunt each came and took a baby and Aunt Halli had already grabbed Grayson to take him and Brayden to the Star Wars baseball game. So that left Michael and I with a stretch of 24 hours kid free!!!! This was the first time that we have been home together without kids since the babies were born. We got a ton of yard work done and then had a wonderful steak dinner and watched the two movies!!! The Bourne Identity and Good Will Hunting. Michael was stunned that I had not ever watched Good Will Hunting. 

We slept in!!! We slept through the night without having to wake up to kids!! We only slept in until 6:45 because when your a parent you cannot sleep past 7 I'm convinced of it!

Sunday we got up and watched another movie (Bourne Supremacy) while we ate breakfast then got to work on putting together the second dresser for the twins room. I got that all organized and now 16 months after they were born the nursery is done ha! We watched another movie (Bourne Ultimatum) and then got ready for my birthday dinner. We met my family for dinner at our local Italian place and had a wonderful meal. We got home put the nuggets to bed and then crashed. 

It was such a good weekend. I had the best birthday. And now it's all downhill from here right? I'm kidding my 20's were great. I'm really excited for what my 30's hold. 



I hate our highchairs. I just bought two of the ones that strap to the  chairs and they will be eating off of those from now on because cleaning up the ones we have now are awful they have too many places food can get into and our sweet Charlotte makes sure that she rubs her dinner over every single inch of her highchair. I spent 45 mins cleaning the chairs last night and it drove me insane.

Still have no idea when I mopped all the floors at the same time. However my dining room floor and kitchen floor are spotless I have to mop them daily because of all the food my kids think is fun to throw on the floor.

My bathroom floor is clean too because every night they think it's Sea world and splash half the water out of the tub. I come out of there soaked too. Now as I'm typing this I need to get some more bath towels because I'm still trying to dry off my one year old's with baby towels. Ha!

We lived out of baskets for like 2 weeks. So I already failed on that new years resolution. Oops. See my Aunt and Mom anytime they watch the kids and the kids go to sleep they wash and dry and fold my laundry. Well that's all well and good until I have 6 loads of laundry to put away and no time to do it. Hey at least the laundry is clean.

Speaking of laundry is it just me or do you have to re organized the drawers every time you put laundry away? It took me an hour just to put away the kids clothes. I had to go through rotate the clothes pull out things that don't fit anymore and then put everything away. My husband says this is just me because I'm crazy but I have to do it. I cannot just throw the clothes in the drawer.

I had to order new dressers for the twins room. I have been shoving and stacking and rolling their clothes for the last few months now but with summer on the way I do not have enough room for all their clothes in their bedroom. Because one day it's 80 and the next it's 47 so I need some winter clothes and spring clothes. We have just been using the changing table/dresser combo that has 3 (tiny)drawers and two cabinets (that each have two shelves) and some fabric baskets in a bookshelf but it just does not cut it anymore . That is what i used to use for just Grayson so trying to do that for two babies is a little hard. So we have two new dressers coming (from Ikea so you know they have to be put together) and hopefully this will help with the mess of their room. Because right now I have all their summer clothes in laundry baskets and that is just a pain trying to find anything in.

I have given up on Grayson eating new foods. The doctor told me to back off so we have and we are much happier at dinner time. That kids still does not like to eat meat and would chose peanut butter over anything else.

Charlotte is still in a infant car seat but I really need to get on changing that out. See I just don't know how I would get them all into daycare with the bags. Marshall is walking but not to the point where he will walk in himself and Charlotte is still not walking so I have to carry her. Ugh I guess I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and do it. There goes the easy part of having someone strapped into a seat and not being mobile.

Michael really needs a new vehicle however we are running that puppy into the ground. Seriously right now he has both of the backseat doors ratcheted strapped closed because the latches are broken. We are getting the one fixed so that he can still have Grayson in it but we are trying so hard to just get through the summer with the vehicle. I just really don't want another car payment right now so we will see how that goes. Fingers crossed the floor doesn't fall out of it or else he will be Barney Rubbling that puppy to work.

I did make Grayson his first dentist appointment on a day when Michael is off so that he can take him.  I just really have no desire to take him to that appointment I think he will be fine but you never know.

Plus I have to take Charlotte to the eye doctor because her eye is pulling in on the left side and has been since she was about 6 months old and we waited to see if it would correct on it's own but it hasn't and so we are having it looked at to see what's going on. I'm secretly nervous about this but praying that it's nothing or something that a little patching can't fix.


Looking back on a twin pregnancy

Now that I'm a year (plus) past my twin pregnancy it's strange to look back on

I mean I carried around two babies in my belly for 35 weeks.
And those two babies equaled 13.5 pounds. Yeah let that sink in. Plus they were 19 inches each. I mean that's a lot of baby in one stomach. 

Talk about stretching 

I was huge. 

I have found out (after the fact) that they called me torpedo at work because that's what looked like was coming out of my stomach

Looking back man how did I do that?

I can remember now feeling like my stomach was going to rip right open or that I was going to stand up once and my water would break.

Getting off the couch was something I had to mentally prepare for. At the end I was getting up to use the bathroom every hour. Sleep happened in increments of a few hours. I watched more Nick at Nite than anyone should plus all 8 season of Sister Wives because they were on TLC GO

Eating was a chore because I would be starving have a bowl of cereal and then within 3 bites feel like I couldn't take one more bite. I would crave pizza get it home have half a slice then be done then an hour later have the other half. I was eating every two ish hours because I just had no space.

Showering was awful and I would almost always skip the hair wash for a quick body wash and back on the couch. I'm telling you the last 4 weeks were hard but really the last 2 about did me in. 

When the doctor took me out of work, told me I couldn't drive, and said no more picking up Grayson or going up and down the stairs I burst into tears. But I had to promise those things or else he was going to keep me in the hospital until delivery and that was not an option. 

And even a year after I'm still dealing with some medical issues from it. I have a pretty serious case of Diastasis Recti. Which is separation of my stomach muscles which other than still making me look about 5 months pregnant (yup got asked when I was due the other day at the grocery store so that was a great hit for my self esteem) it is super painful. Right now I'm hovering around a 3.5 finger gap I was a 5 plus right after having them so it's slowly improving. My back is so weak that by then end of baths it's falling asleep and I have to go into stretches to make it stop seizing up. 

I guess all this to say is twin pregnancy is not easy. And a year later neither is twin parenting. It's a whole other level of crazy. It's worth it so so worth it but that doesn't mean it was hard.

And to the people that tell me I chose it (because a mom at daycare told me it was my choice to have twins) our twins were a gift from God. I was not on fertility medicine. It was the biggest shock of my life that I was pregnant with twins. But now could not imagine life without them.

I asked my husband if I complained a ton and he said no only the last day I was pregnant because I was in labor and they kept trying to stop it and I looked at him and said I need to not be pregnant anymore because they feel like they are trying to crawl out. I guess when I was in it I just focused on them and forged ahead. Even though putting on shoes felt like I was running a marathon.


Two different babies

Comparison is the thief of joy.

How true is that?

Just this last week someone tried to steal my joy as a mother.

The questions I was asked was "How worried are you that Charlotte isn't walking yet like her brother?"

I kindly smiled and said "not at all"

But then later that night when my house was quiet and I had time to let things creep into my mind I started over think the situation.

Marshall has been walking for about 3 weeks now. Straight up walking everywhere and trying (and sometimes successfully) to climb (ing) everything.

Charlotte is cruising along furniture using her little push toys to get everywhere but not independently walking.

Once that comment was made I started to wonder. Is she behind? Wait should I be worried? Is something wrong with her legs? 

And a million other ridiculous things that should have never come into my mind.

I closed my eyes and prayed for peace at that moment and asked for my joy back because guess what?

They are perfectly made as individuals and just because their way into this world was through sharing a womb which is a unique experience they are still two separate babies.

They will develop at different paces, heck they look different they are TWO DIFFERENT BABIES.

The one thing that is the same though

Our love for them is big and huge. We all love them something fierce and consider ourselves blessed to get to watch them grow.

And for the record Grayson didn't walk until 15 months and he is like the smartest 4 year old I know.

Happy Thursday


Whats up Wednesday

Linking up with Shay today for What's Up Wednesday.

What we're eating this week.....

Monday -We had cereal because it's hockey night and I was knee deep in party prep and lost track of time so we had cereal and the kids had broccoli and cheese tots with a hard boiled egg and mac and cheese #momoftheyear

Tuesday- Fish tacos

Wednesday- Pasta with a beef and mushroom sauce

Thursday- left overs

Friday- Pizza night also know as the best night ever

Saturday- It's the babies birthday party so we will be having party food

What I'm reminiscing about.....

With my littlest loves turning one I have been all over memory lane.

You can see the letters I wrote to them here and here

What I'm loving.....

This weather. We have finally been having some nice days and so family walks have been on repeat around here. Makes me love my stroller even more because all three kids have a seat! Plus it's not wide.

What' we've been up to....

Birthday's birthday's and more birthday's. Seriously we have 9 birthday's in April so it's a busy month.

What I'm dreading.....

Marshall getting his first haircut. Ugh this boy hates to sit still so I'm just gearing up for a fight from him. But he needs one so bad because it just hangs in his eyes and he has a mullet in the back. It's bad. So Thursday I will be taking that nugget to get his first trim. Pray for me.

What I'm working on....

The twins birthday party is on Saturday so I have been pulling every thing together for that. We went with a luau theme and I'm so excited. 

What I'm excited about...

Michael and I just paid off a huge loan. Which is such a blessing and now we are on to the next one. We follow Dave Ramsey's plan and while we have had to take a break from the whole debt snowball (because having twins will do that to you) we are back on the train and picking up momentum

What I'm watching/reading...

Okay Grayson and I are obsessed with Moana. So it's pretty much on 24/7 at our house. But I am into the Real Housewives of Beverley Hills and NYC. I'm reading my Bible and a couple other books when I get a chance.

What I'm listening to....

The Trolls soundtrack on repeat. It's free on my Amazon Prime so we jam out to that all the time 

What I'm wearing....

Flip flops because the weather is warmer

What I'm doing this weekend....

Cooking 20 pounds of pulled pork. Going to Art Night at the kids' school. Saturday I have a spa appointment that I got when I had the babies that I have to use by the end of April nothing like waiting until the last minute and then we have the babies party. 

What I"m looking forward to next month....

May is just as busy as April so there is a ton but Michael and I have a pretty special day that I'm really looking forward to in May

What else is new.....

Grayson got his packet for Pre-K yesterday.  My emotions are all over the place on this. But in looking over the paperwork it asked for Dental Health information and then I felt like a bad mom because he has never been to the dentist. Ooops. So that is on my list to do today. Make a dentist appointment.

And my favorite spring/summer shoe is of course the flip flop. Hands down if it didn't snow where I live I would only wear flip flops.