Grayson's first trip to the eye doctor

About 2 weeks ago I got a call from the school nurse regarding Grayson. My first thought went to that he was sick. But she said no he is fine.
The words she spoke next made me so very confused
"Graysons teacher has noticed that he was having trouble with his colors so she brought him down to be tested for Color blindness and he has failed the test so we recommend that you get him looked at by his pediatrician"

I'm pretty sure I responded with "Um what?" because this was the first we had heard of any concern over him knowing his colors. She sent home the test results and the next day I called our Dr.

In talking to the Dr he decided that the best course of action was to go directly to a pediatric ophthalmologist who specializes in this.  Thankfully there is an amazing one about an hour from us and they got him in the following week.

So Michael took off Friday and my Mom came to watch Marshall and Charlotte and off we went to our 9:15 appointment. We had talked to him about it prior and had approached it as this is something every kid has to do before they go to kindergarten kind of like going to the dentist. No. Big.Deal. We did stress that it was very important that he answer all the Dr's questions when asked and that he answer them honestly. We did this so that he didn't feel any unnecessary pressure like something should be wrong with him. We just wanted him to go into it like it was just another test for school and not because something was wrong with him

 The resident came in and gave him a sight test and then gave him the color test and I could tell right there before anyone said anything that he failed the color test. He got one right and that was the one that everyone can see. She kept saying "Are you sure that you can't see and numbers in this picture?" and he would just shake his head no. All the other ones on the color test he failed. The doctor came in and told us that yes he was in fact color blind and that on a scale of 1-10 he was a solid 4-5. He can see color but certain shades and certain colors are hard to tell between. He is also near sited so he has a hard time seeing things far away but it's not to the point of glasses yet. So we will monitor him every year or take him in if we see him squinting or he starts complaining of headaches. Other than that he has perfectly healthy eyes.

He has the hardest time with darker colors so if red and brown is in front of him it all looks red. If blue and purple are in front of him it's all blue. Black and gray all look gray. Basically if there are too many colors it becomes all muddled and the color there is the most of is what he sees. His biggest color problem though is yellow he sees green every time. He has always said he doesn't like yellow and I couldn't figure out why well that's because he doesn't see it.

Michael and I have processed this and then processed it some more. I want to let you know that I'm very aware that it could be worse. That in the grand scheme of things this is minor. I'm aware. But as a parent any thing that may hinder or change your child's life at all is a blow. So please just know that I'm not trying to act like this is the end of the world. It was just such a shock.

So my first reaction was how did I his mother not see this? How did I not pick up on this? How many times have I gotten frustrated with him for not picking up what I asked him when I referenced a color or getting the black shirt when I clearly asked him for the blue one? How many times has he come up to me and said "Mommy is this the purple crayon?" and I have gotten aggravated with him because "Grayson you know that's not purple" 
Guilt washed over my body. I felt like I had failed him. 

Michael's reaction was different. He wanted to know how to fix it. How do we get this taken care of. And well there is no fix which as a parent it hard to swallow.

Our other big issue is relating to him. I have had to now correct myself on how I identify things to him. For example we were at my niece's swim meet a few days after the school nurse called and he kept asking which one was Libby (we were across the pool and up from her) and I kept saying to him "She is the one with the pink swim cap on" and he continued to ask and then it clicked what if he doesn't see pink? Because he still couldn't point Libby out to me and she was the only one with a bright pink swim cap on. Again a wash of guilt pinged in my heart because I was getting frustrated with him because I could clearly see it so why couldn't he?

I told that story to the Dr. and he said that the further away he is that harder color will be to see.

So the Dr. told Grayson right in the room that he was color blind. Grayson's eye's just got big and he  got really quite. So we talked with the Dr. and then once we got in the car we talked to him about it.
He was so fine with it because really he doesn't know any different.

We have started an open dialogue with him and I just have been asking him more and more what he sees. Plus I don't want him to think that it its wrong what he sees, even if it different from what the majority sees. So the other day after hockey I made a comment about his yellow shorts and he said "These shorts are yellow? I thought they were green!" I told him "nope yellow" He then said to me "Well you do know I'm color blind right?" He has taken this all in stride and really just is not affected by it.

It's just an adjustment. More for me and Michael and the adults in his life than for Grayson. His life is the same but the way we identify things to him has to change a little bit. We are working on it.


The last 3 months of debt pay off....

So I last updated our Baby Step #2 in October.

We were just starting to tackle our last credit card and well next week we are making our final payment on that!

In the last 3 months we have paid $6,456.00 off in debt!!!!!

We are beyond excited with that number. We are on track to pay off that credit card with the last payment on Friday!!!!!

Then it is on to the last two loans.

So we have 48,000 left to pay and in crunching the numbers the next loan should be paid off by November (we are pushing for September!) and then we will be onto the last student loan.

It is just crazy and it is exciting. But so so hard.

I'm not going to act like it is easy. We are sacrificing, we are scrapping, scrounging and some nights I'm all "Hey guess what it's cereal for dinner again!".

This is a marathon. This is a commitment. I have bad days where saying no just seems like the only thing we say. So we have built in little rewards for ourselves. Like our fun spring project. All cash flowed all within reason and nothing over the top.

We are still huge Dave listeners and Michael has read the book a think a total of 5 or 6 times and I'm on my 2nd time through as well as the podcast. It is good to keep you going.

This has taken on a whole new meaning for me in the last few weeks really. I realized my goals in life are bigger than just surviving. I don't want to be living the paycheck to paycheck anymore. I want to be living life, making memories, and giving in big big ways. 

Here is to February bringing the final payment on the credit card and starting on our second to last loan!


Woah that was a long break

Yikes I took a break and not even on purpose....
Life got busy and my job got crazy and well I had to cut something out to make my days a little less hectic.

Things have simmered down a little bit around here for the time being and so I'm going to attempt some updates.

I will have a debt post up tomorrow it's super exciting!!!!!

Wednesday I have plans for a quick update on the kids....they are changing by the second it seems and I want to capture the magic (and rip your hair out) moments that we are in right now.

We have a fun spring project planned and I'm going to share a little bit about that too.

I'm dipping my toe back into the whole blogging thing

I missed it really and truly and I'm setting aside some time each week to make one to two posts happen. 


October Debt and November Goals

Lets start with our debt 

we paid off $2,479.00 this month!!!
That number also paid off our second to last credit card!

We have a giant chart in our bedroom that lists our debt and goals and such and we are crossing our debts off as we complete them and this month we go to put a giant red line through one of those line items. This means we have 3 left. We started with 6 and while the first 3 were small it still means we are halfway through our line items and that is huge!
The one we are working on now we are shooting to have it paid off by the end of January 
and then it is the last 2 big loans which is over half our debt that we have total. 

I know it sounds odd but we are so excited to get to that point and start hammering the big loans!

I also want to mention that we cash flowed quite a bit this month. 
Halloween costumes for all 3 was $60.00
Pumpkins and candy was $40.00
Baby Gift  $50.00
Michael B-day $50.00
Car repairs $400.00

So that is another $800.00 and while our goal is to get out of debt it is also just as important to stay out of debt. Which means we cash flow and budget for everything!

Okay goals from October

Close the pool and get all the outside toys put away
Finish our will
Baby Step#2
Christmas Cards
Plan dates for holidays
Trick or Treat as a family
Celebrate Michael's Birthday

The pool was officially closed and most of the outside stuff is put away we left a few things out because we were having a heat wave but now it's cold.

Our will is a lot more complicated than we thought. But I love the discussion it has opened up and we are really getting on the same page. 

Baby Step #2 see above 

Christmas Cards well half way done? I have them designed. I just have to order and get my addresses around these will be done this week

Holidays with my brother are planned we always celebrate the Sunday before the holiday

We trick or treated are and were a frozen Popsicle at the end I'm hoping to post on this this week we will see

We celebrated Michael's birthday with a kid free dinner the night before and then a family dinner and cake on his birthday!

November Goals

Make a special project with Grayson to give to family (I'm thinking cinnamon butter)
Mail out Christmas cards
Baby Step#2
Christmas shopping get it done!
Decorate for Christmas 


Grayson goes to School

This post is only a month late! But better late than never! Which lets be real most times if enough time goes by they end up as never but I just couldn't let this go because......

We officially have a Pre-K student in our house

On Wednesday September 6th Grayson had his first officall day of school. 

Our school runs a "soft opening" for Pre-K which means the first week each Pre-K student only goes one day so that they can acclimate to the new classroom without the full class. 

So Wednesday was his day and Michael and I each took the day off so we could take him because they did not have bus runs yet. He was so excited!

He had a great first day! 

Then on Monday Septmeber 11th he had his first day of riding the bus!
I took a half a day so I could be there for it. I don't have pictures because I was taking a video but he was so excited/nervous. 

He was a little nervous

His "babies" even came out to watch him get on the bus

He really loves his new school and teacher and by the end of the week he was talking about his new friend Ian that is in his class and rides his bus.


September Debt and October Goals

It's time for a Debt and Goal's check

Here were September Goals

Close Pool and get ready for winter
Complete our Will
Start Financial Peace University
Work on Baby Step#2
Halloween Costumes for kiddos
Keep working on organizing house

Fail on the closing the pool. It on the list for Sunday when we both have a day off together without kids so I'm moving that one over to the October list

Complete our will man is this hard. There is so much to discuss and figure out and so we are working on it.

Start Financial Peace University is a win! We are on week 3 in the home study program and loving it. 

Work on Baby Step #2. We sure did! this month we paid $2,944.00 towards debt and we are over the moon happy with that number. Michael started 6 day work weeks and I have been scrimping and saving on our grocery budget and really working with what we have and not going over the top. 

Halloween Costumes for kiddos well Grayson says he wants to by Kylo Ren and we already have that costume and I think the babies are going to be salt and pepper because it's easy. Halloween here is either still warm or freezing. Last year the kids had on hats gloves and winter coats. So I need a costumes for the babes that I can layer layer layer. 

I'm almost done with having our bedroom done. I just need to tackle the pile of books by my bed and my closet. Most of which I will be donating I just need actually do it! 

October Goals

Close the pool and get all the outside toys put away
Finish our will
Baby Step#2
Christmas Cards
Plan dates for holidays
Trick or Treat as a family
Celebrate Michael's Birthday

I'm super excited for this month and celebrating Michael and Halloween as a family


An Open Letter To The Parents in Houston and Florida

To all Parents in Houston and Florida

First just let me say your doing a great job. I can't even imagine being in your shoes. Having children watching your whole world be turned upside down and losing so much and having to stay brave for your kids. The unknown is scary but you can't be scared at least not on the outside.

I guess that is something we get when we become parents the ability to keep it together in front of them. To make them feel safe and secure even when we don't feel that way. To keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we feel like our shoes our made of lead and we are climbing the biggest mountain.

Also how brave are you? Having to make such difficult decisions at a moments notice. I mean the weight of that on someone is crazy but let me tell you this whatever you decided it was right. If you stayed, if you evacuated it was the right choice for you. Because you know your family best and you know to follow your gut no matter what.

I live in upstate NY and so my biggest weather problem is normally snow and we can shovel that. I have no idea what it must feel like to have to walk away from a home not sure what state you will find it in again. A few months back we lost power and it was still pretty cold out here (March is a touch and go month I mean it could still snow!) I had a 3 year old and 11 month old twins at the time and having to decide if we stick it out and bundle up or if go somewhere else. A family member who had a generator thankfully took our twins and we slept in our bed with our 3 year old using body heat and a million blankets and layers to stay warm in our house that got down to 48 degrees overnight. When we woke up the next morning we did not know when our power would be back and the estimates were saying not until the following day. I know the pressure I felt of making the best decision for our kids and us in that situation. And compared to what you have that is nothing.

What you are facing is so much bigger. Your house is damaged and you have everyone's safety in your hands. Power could be lost for weeks and your house well who knows yet or if your in Texas it is unlivable at this point. Memories are lost, everything you have worked for is gone and yet you have to keep going. You can't fall apart at least not in front of them.

So I guess I'm just here to say. Your doing a great job. I'm praying for you. Follow your gut and do what you feel best. It's easy for us who are hundreds of miles away to say I would just walk away I would evacuate but really we don't know. It's easy to pass judgement from where we sit. But there is no judgement from me.

You go parents and keep doing what YOU feel is best for you family and just know you have our prayers.