5.22.2017

Confessions



I hate our highchairs. I just bought two of the ones that strap to the  chairs and they will be eating off of those from now on because cleaning up the ones we have now are awful they have too many places food can get into and our sweet Charlotte makes sure that she rubs her dinner over every single inch of her highchair. I spent 45 mins cleaning the chairs last night and it drove me insane.


Still have no idea when I mopped all the floors at the same time. However my dining room floor and kitchen floor are spotless I have to mop them daily because of all the food my kids think is fun to throw on the floor.


My bathroom floor is clean too because every night they think it's Sea world and splash half the water out of the tub. I come out of there soaked too. Now as I'm typing this I need to get some more bath towels because I'm still trying to dry off my one year old's with baby towels. Ha!


We lived out of baskets for like 2 weeks. So I already failed on that new years resolution. Oops. See my Aunt and Mom anytime they watch the kids and the kids go to sleep they wash and dry and fold my laundry. Well that's all well and good until I have 6 loads of laundry to put away and no time to do it. Hey at least the laundry is clean.


Speaking of laundry is it just me or do you have to re organized the drawers every time you put laundry away? It took me an hour just to put away the kids clothes. I had to go through rotate the clothes pull out things that don't fit anymore and then put everything away. My husband says this is just me because I'm crazy but I have to do it. I cannot just throw the clothes in the drawer.


I had to order new dressers for the twins room. I have been shoving and stacking and rolling their clothes for the last few months now but with summer on the way I do not have enough room for all their clothes in their bedroom. Because one day it's 80 and the next it's 47 so I need some winter clothes and spring clothes. We have just been using the changing table/dresser combo that has 3 (tiny)drawers and two cabinets (that each have two shelves) and some fabric baskets in a bookshelf but it just does not cut it anymore . That is what i used to use for just Grayson so trying to do that for two babies is a little hard. So we have two new dressers coming (from Ikea so you know they have to be put together) and hopefully this will help with the mess of their room. Because right now I have all their summer clothes in laundry baskets and that is just a pain trying to find anything in.


I have given up on Grayson eating new foods. The doctor told me to back off so we have and we are much happier at dinner time. That kids still does not like to eat meat and would chose peanut butter over anything else.



Charlotte is still in a infant car seat but I really need to get on changing that out. See I just don't know how I would get them all into daycare with the bags. Marshall is walking but not to the point where he will walk in himself and Charlotte is still not walking so I have to carry her. Ugh I guess I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and do it. There goes the easy part of having someone strapped into a seat and not being mobile.


Michael really needs a new vehicle however we are running that puppy into the ground. Seriously right now he has both of the backseat doors ratcheted strapped closed because the latches are broken. We are getting the one fixed so that he can still have Grayson in it but we are trying so hard to just get through the summer with the vehicle. I just really don't want another car payment right now so we will see how that goes. Fingers crossed the floor doesn't fall out of it or else he will be Barney Rubbling that puppy to work.


I did make Grayson his first dentist appointment on a day when Michael is off so that he can take him.  I just really have no desire to take him to that appointment I think he will be fine but you never know.


Plus I have to take Charlotte to the eye doctor because her eye is pulling in on the left side and has been since she was about 6 months old and we waited to see if it would correct on it's own but it hasn't and so we are having it looked at to see what's going on. I'm secretly nervous about this but praying that it's nothing or something that a little patching can't fix.


5.19.2017

Looking back on a twin pregnancy

Now that I'm a year (plus) past my twin pregnancy it's strange to look back on


I mean I carried around two babies in my belly for 35 weeks.
And those two babies equaled 13.5 pounds. Yeah let that sink in. Plus they were 19 inches each. I mean that's a lot of baby in one stomach. 

Talk about stretching 


I was huge. 

I have found out (after the fact) that they called me torpedo at work because that's what looked like was coming out of my stomach

Looking back man how did I do that?

I can remember now feeling like my stomach was going to rip right open or that I was going to stand up once and my water would break.


Getting off the couch was something I had to mentally prepare for. At the end I was getting up to use the bathroom every hour. Sleep happened in increments of a few hours. I watched more Nick at Nite than anyone should plus all 8 season of Sister Wives because they were on TLC GO


Eating was a chore because I would be starving have a bowl of cereal and then within 3 bites feel like I couldn't take one more bite. I would crave pizza get it home have half a slice then be done then an hour later have the other half. I was eating every two ish hours because I just had no space.

Showering was awful and I would almost always skip the hair wash for a quick body wash and back on the couch. I'm telling you the last 4 weeks were hard but really the last 2 about did me in. 

When the doctor took me out of work, told me I couldn't drive, and said no more picking up Grayson or going up and down the stairs I burst into tears. But I had to promise those things or else he was going to keep me in the hospital until delivery and that was not an option. 

And even a year after I'm still dealing with some medical issues from it. I have a pretty serious case of Diastasis Recti. Which is separation of my stomach muscles which other than still making me look about 5 months pregnant (yup got asked when I was due the other day at the grocery store so that was a great hit for my self esteem) it is super painful. Right now I'm hovering around a 3.5 finger gap I was a 5 plus right after having them so it's slowly improving. My back is so weak that by then end of baths it's falling asleep and I have to go into stretches to make it stop seizing up. 

I guess all this to say is twin pregnancy is not easy. And a year later neither is twin parenting. It's a whole other level of crazy. It's worth it so so worth it but that doesn't mean it was hard.

And to the people that tell me I chose it (because a mom at daycare told me it was my choice to have twins) our twins were a gift from God. I was not on fertility medicine. It was the biggest shock of my life that I was pregnant with twins. But now could not imagine life without them.

I asked my husband if I complained a ton and he said no only the last day I was pregnant because I was in labor and they kept trying to stop it and I looked at him and said I need to not be pregnant anymore because they feel like they are trying to crawl out. I guess when I was in it I just focused on them and forged ahead. Even though putting on shoes felt like I was running a marathon.

5.04.2017

Two different babies

Comparison is the thief of joy.


How true is that?

Just this last week someone tried to steal my joy as a mother.

The questions I was asked was "How worried are you that Charlotte isn't walking yet like her brother?"


I kindly smiled and said "not at all"

But then later that night when my house was quiet and I had time to let things creep into my mind I started over think the situation.


Marshall has been walking for about 3 weeks now. Straight up walking everywhere and trying (and sometimes successfully) to climb (ing) everything.

Charlotte is cruising along furniture using her little push toys to get everywhere but not independently walking.


Once that comment was made I started to wonder. Is she behind? Wait should I be worried? Is something wrong with her legs? 


And a million other ridiculous things that should have never come into my mind.

I closed my eyes and prayed for peace at that moment and asked for my joy back because guess what?

They are perfectly made as individuals and just because their way into this world was through sharing a womb which is a unique experience they are still two separate babies.

They will develop at different paces, heck they look different they are TWO DIFFERENT BABIES.

The one thing that is the same though

Our love for them is big and huge. We all love them something fierce and consider ourselves blessed to get to watch them grow.


And for the record Grayson didn't walk until 15 months and he is like the smartest 4 year old I know.

Happy Thursday

4.26.2017

Whats up Wednesday

Linking up with Shay today for What's Up Wednesday.

What we're eating this week.....

Monday -We had cereal because it's hockey night and I was knee deep in party prep and lost track of time so we had cereal and the kids had broccoli and cheese tots with a hard boiled egg and mac and cheese #momoftheyear

Tuesday- Fish tacos

Wednesday- Pasta with a beef and mushroom sauce

Thursday- left overs

Friday- Pizza night also know as the best night ever

Saturday- It's the babies birthday party so we will be having party food


What I'm reminiscing about.....

With my littlest loves turning one I have been all over memory lane.



You can see the letters I wrote to them here and here

What I'm loving.....

This weather. We have finally been having some nice days and so family walks have been on repeat around here. Makes me love my stroller even more because all three kids have a seat! Plus it's not wide.



What' we've been up to....

Birthday's birthday's and more birthday's. Seriously we have 9 birthday's in April so it's a busy month.



What I'm dreading.....

Marshall getting his first haircut. Ugh this boy hates to sit still so I'm just gearing up for a fight from him. But he needs one so bad because it just hangs in his eyes and he has a mullet in the back. It's bad. So Thursday I will be taking that nugget to get his first trim. Pray for me.



What I'm working on....

The twins birthday party is on Saturday so I have been pulling every thing together for that. We went with a luau theme and I'm so excited. 

What I'm excited about...

Michael and I just paid off a huge loan. Which is such a blessing and now we are on to the next one. We follow Dave Ramsey's plan and while we have had to take a break from the whole debt snowball (because having twins will do that to you) we are back on the train and picking up momentum

What I'm watching/reading...

Okay Grayson and I are obsessed with Moana. So it's pretty much on 24/7 at our house. But I am into the Real Housewives of Beverley Hills and NYC. I'm reading my Bible and a couple other books when I get a chance.


What I'm listening to....

The Trolls soundtrack on repeat. It's free on my Amazon Prime so we jam out to that all the time 


What I'm wearing....

Flip flops because the weather is warmer


What I'm doing this weekend....

Cooking 20 pounds of pulled pork. Going to Art Night at the kids' school. Saturday I have a spa appointment that I got when I had the babies that I have to use by the end of April nothing like waiting until the last minute and then we have the babies party. 

What I"m looking forward to next month....

May is just as busy as April so there is a ton but Michael and I have a pretty special day that I'm really looking forward to in May


What else is new.....

Grayson got his packet for Pre-K yesterday.  My emotions are all over the place on this. But in looking over the paperwork it asked for Dental Health information and then I felt like a bad mom because he has never been to the dentist. Ooops. So that is on my list to do today. Make a dentist appointment.



And my favorite spring/summer shoe is of course the flip flop. Hands down if it didn't snow where I live I would only wear flip flops. 

4.21.2017

Dear Marshall

Dear Marshall,

Today you turn one
I mean tell me how that is possible.



I remember going into the hospital to have you wondering how on earth was I going to have two babies? How was I going to love two babies?

Then I heard the cries of two precious babies and bam I got two new hearts.

Sweet boy you have my heart. I always tell you and your siblings that I don't have just one heart I have a specific one for each of you. And that you and you alone get all the love that that heart has.

Well honey my heart for you is huge and filled with so much love.


You have come a long way since this day a year ago. You were born two minutes after your sister making you the baby of the family. You were 3 ounces smaller and smooshed in mama's belly. Aside from blood sugar issues that were quickly resolved after birth you were perfect. Blonde hair blue eyes and the best button nose.


You are the baby I didn't know I needed the one that God just knew I needed in my life and gave me despite my arguments for only have two kids. Now I can't imagine life without all of you.



You have changed so much since my last update on you. You went from the one who smiles at everyone to the one that reserves the smiles for those closest to him. You have kept your blue eyes and blonde hair and while it's crazy and long right now I kind of love it. You are pretty serious when entering new situations (like your big brother was and still is) and have to really observe everything.

You walk every where like you have just always walked and new this past week you climb!!!! Plus just last night you started opening our baby gates so we have to make sure we put the extra lock down because your always opening them and climbing the stairs or wandering into the kitchen and walking out with the dish towel and a kit kat bar.

Your big brother hung the moon and you just love him. You are the sweetest with your little sister because even when she steals your sussy you don't cry and you always try to give her your sussy if she is upset and can't find hers. Your big brother is chomping at the bit to be able to wrestle with you and I fear for that day because I can just see it now two boys wrestling all the live long day in my house.



Your my rock star sleeper. We sleep trained you back in December right after Christmas and that was the best thing ever. You only took two nights and now we just lay you in your crib awake but sleepy and you sleep a solid 11-12 hours a night. Don't tell the others but this makes you my favorite child (just kidding kind of because sleep is the like gold) You only had a rough sleep bought when your top two teeth were coming in and that caused you to spike a fever of 103 off an on for two days and to sleep like crap but once it broke through you were golden.

You transitioned to milk pretty easily although if it's too cold your not a fan. You have really up'd your eating came in the last few weeks and you just shovel it all in. Carbs are your favorite and I get it because yum, but really you eat it all.


Your no much of a talker yet but you have the yelling thing down. When you get super excited you let your a yell or squeal to let everyone know. You clap and wave goodbye. You chew on everything and you still have the best dimples with a scrunched nose smile. You can drop it like its hot any time a beat comes on. It is so hardcore while boy dancing that it is funny.



You are my random snuggler. You will be playing and then just come up and lay your head down on me for a few snuggles and then right back to playing. I hope you never out grow that.

Your nicknames are all over the place we mostly call you Bubba or Marshy. Marsh Man comes up quite often and Grayson always calls you Marsh Marsh. When people see you for the first time they always say you look like me and your big brother and well handsome boy we take that as a compliment.




You have the biggest hands and feet and I have a feeling your are going to be a big big boy. You are about 3 pounds more than our sister and an inch and a half taller. Slowly moving into 18 month clothing just in time for summer. We have to put you in 4 diapers at night so that you wont leak.

I just love you so so much. This year was amazing with you. To watch your grow to get be be your mom all of it was great. And while the sleepless nights are hard I'm glad we went through them mostly so I can appreciated the long nights of sleep you give me now.

Marshall Thomas Joseph Smith you are the best caboose to our family. We love you big and with all that we have. We are so blessed to get to have you in our lives every gosh darn day and we wouldn't trade it for anything.

Love Mama.


Dear Charlotte

Dear Charlotte

You are one!



Let me just tell you that was the fastest year of my life. 

I remember going into the hospital in labor and just praying over and over again for healthy babies. Less than 24 hours after walking into that hospital you were here and so beautiful.

You were born a mere two minutes before your baby brother and the second I heard you cry the tears came.

I remember seeing you and thinking how you looked just like your big brother. My heart was so full. You were the baby I prayed and prayed for. I always had a gut feeling I would be a boy mom and I was more than okay with it but really when I found out I was having a girl I cried. I had this desire to do all the girly things with a little sidekick and I didn't even know it. But you know who did? God and he gave me that blessing.



You came out 3 ounces larger than your brother at birth but that didn't last long. From very early on formula was not something that got you excited. You could take it or leave it and often we would have to fight with you to get you to eat.


You have had red hair since you were born and while the first few days I thought it was blonde looking back it's always been red. You have the sweetest blue eyes that have stuck around and they make you one of the rarest combinations in the world of having red hair and blue eyes.



You are the spitting image of your father. But your personality is all me. This is something I have struggled with because man are we both stubborn. You are my baby that knows how to get what she wants when she wants it and most of it is done with a smile and snuggles.

You could crawl for months however chose to just do it at almost 11 months old. Now you are starting to free stand and will walk when holding onto things. I'm just letting you find your own way with all of it. I have to admit it is hard to not compare you to your brother but I'm working on it.

You still eat all the things but now, you prefer meat. You know what you like and prefer lots of texture in a meal so if we give you lets say eggs and guacamole nope your not happy you want something crunchy too. Plus like your mama you like a little something sweet at the end of a meal for now that has just been some graham crackers because we reserve all sweets for the first birthday. So brace yourself sweet little one you get cake tonight! The transition to milk has been a weird one for you. You will drink it warmed up and in a bottle but no other way, because well your Charlotte. However you will drink water from your sippy cup all day long.



Your favorite thing is picking up any thing clothing related and putting it on your neck like a scarf. It's the funniest thing. Your second favorite thing is when you big brother picks you up and carries you around under your arm pits. You smile and kick your legs like crazy and when he sets you down you point to him for more.

Your sleeping is awful. You are up more times in the night than I care to count and more often than I would like to admit you end up in bed with us. Your smart so I'm certain that is why you wake up so that you can come in and get extra snuggles because you fall right back to sleep once you are nestled between us.



Your personality is infectious. You love to smile and you wave at everyone. You clap your hands and if anyone asks how big you are your hand shoot as high as you can get them above your head. You love to dance and kick your feet and bop your head any change you get. The Hot Dog song is one of your favorites and you point and grunt at the TV when it comes on.

You have a few small words. Mama Dada Baba but your not really associating them with anything but boy do you babble those all day long.

You are so petite. Coming in at around 17 pounds you have the smallest little waist that would still fit in 9 months but since you have some long legs you need 12 months.

You are sassy and you are a force to reckoned with. If you want a toy a one of your brothers has it you will pull on it until they give up. Your still not the biggest fan of your little brother touching you because your drama but you are starting to interact with each other more. You love to be in the jumper still and will jump happily for at least half an hour which gives me time to get laundry done because trying to do that with you is impossible you rip it apart faster than I can fold it.


I love you baby girl. I'm so blessed that I get to have you in my life as my daughter. Your sweet and I just love to snuggle you. There have been ups and downs and you hands down give me a run for my money more than the other two but I wouldn't change a thing. You help me grow as a mom and a person and for that I will be forever grateful.

Charlotte Carol Halli Smith you are such a blessing to our family. My love for you will never change. We love you big and hard because your just that amazing. Getting to be your Mom is one of my greatest blessings.

Love Mama





3.30.2017

Answered Prayers

I think it is an awesome day when you can see a prayer answered. 


For the last 7.5 years Michael and I have had zero days off together.

His schedule was Wednesday through Sunday 
Mine was Monday through Friday


Once we had children we realized the blessing it was that he had those two days off so that our babies could stay home with him and saved all that money on daycare. 

Once the twins came it became apparent how much we needed some consistent family time. And some consistent adult time. We needed a date night and bad. Only problem was one of us always had to work the next day and our bed time is pretty early like 9 at night. And very few people can handle the bed time routine (it's not called power hour for nothing) so we went without.


At the beginning of this year I started a prayer journal. I started writing in it pretty often. One of my first entries was guidance from God about Michael's job. He had an offer from another company that was offering him Sunday's off and while he didn't want to leave his current job it was something we needed to consider.

We decided to pray about it and see what doors opened.

Yesterday after 7.5 years of working the weekends Michael was notified that his company was making changes and his new days off would not be Sunday and Monday.

SUNDAY and MONDAY

To say we are thrilled is an understatement. I'm beyond excited to have a family day every.single.week. 

This is such a blessing.

This morning while I was getting dressed I looked in my prayer journal and saw my entry about Michael's job and wrote next to it "answered by God's grace and in His time"

It a reminder for me that prayer works and God is so so good. 


Happy Thursday!

3.24.2017

Friday Favorites

TGIF

Linking up with Andrea


I'm so thankful it's Friday we have had a few crazy weeks between losing power, the whole house getting the flu and then the big fourth birthday I'm ready to get my house in order and put away all the laundry


Here are a few things I'm loving this week


One 
This blender bottle. I take some vitamins and I have the hardest time remembering them in the morning well this bottle has a pill section on the bottom of it so I just pack them all in there at night and bam I have them for the next morning at work

BlenderBottle ProStak System with 22-Ounce Bottle and Twist n' Lock Storage, Pebble Grey



Two
The babies are obsessed with these right now. They make for an easy something to throw on their tray for lunch or dinner. They just gobble them up


Three
Grayson got Trolls for his birthday and we watched it together it's so so cute. The music is pretty great and it's just a sweet movie. 
Product Details

Four
I'm in full on first birthday party planning mode for the twins. How are they going to be one? We are doing a luau theme because believe it or not it's harder to come up with a gender neutral theme. Once invitations go out (this weekend) I will share the invite. I worked with an awesome shop on Etsy and I can't wait to show you the final product.



Five
These St. Paddy's day picture of the kiddos. Sissy and Grayson smile big Marshall looks like he has rocks in his mouth. Ha! But his cheeks though



Six
I'm so far ahead of the game this year and I'm already done with Easter baskets. All the praise hands. We don't do candy in the baskets because the Grandmas usually take care of that so this year we gave each one a puzzle, a book, and a pair of PJ's. Plus a small treat. Puffs for the babies and a chocolate hockey puck for Grayson. I have them all put into the buckets too and they are hidden in my closet ready to go! Well one part of my life is in order Ha!


Happy Friday!

3.20.2017

The flu that just kept coming

For the last week we have been battling the flu.

It lasted 6 days in our house

SIX DAYS

It started with Marshall randomly throwing up on Saturday I didn't think anything of it but then he drank water and that all came up too.

He seemed fine on Sunday except it switched to the other end, know what I mean?

Then it hit Charlotte Sunday night she threw up all in her crib it was a mess.

Then I woke up at midnight to the sound of poor Michael losing his dinner

Monday afternoon I got it

Then Monday night Grayson


Ugh

Thankfully my Mother came over after work Monday and let Michael and I sleep for a few hours

I woke up Monday night to Grayson getting sick again in his bed, so after that he slept on the floor in our room. 

I had Tuesday off anyway so I got that day to semi rest. Well rest as much as you can with 3 kids.


Grayson and Michael had it the worst. Michael's lasted until Thursday and so did Grayson. 

So happy that Friday we were better.

Just in time for the birthday weekend to start. 

However during this whole flu thing we got a huge snowstorm. Clocking in at 24 inches in about a day and a half it was crazy. So the silver lining in all that was that even though we were sick we were out of that crazy bad weather. 

I will be back tomorrow with a little re-cap of the best bowling birthday party ever!

Happy Monday

3.17.2017

Dear Grayson

Dear Grayson,

This weekend you turn 4. My sweet boy how did that happen?

I mean let me sound like every other mother in the world I feel like I just had you 

I don't know where to start there is so much to say to you.

So let me start with this. 

I love you. Those words don't seem enough but Grayson I love you something fierce. You made my heart a Mama heart and for that you will always be special to me. I'm writing this with tears streaming down my face because I don't know if I can put into words how much I truly love you and how much you have changed me.


I sometimes feel bad for you because you are the first. So we make all of our mistakes with you, and baby boy we mess up a ton. I just hope the extra snuggles make up for it. Well that and the chocolate.


You have the kindest heart. If someone is upset or you feel like you hurt someones feelings you are quick with a hug and I'm sorry. We got some super sad new a few weeks ago and you could tell mommy was sad and you sat on my lap and played with my hair telling me "it's okay Mama I'm here with you forever okay?" The look in your eyes was so genuine and I hope this is a quality you never lose.

You know how to encourage. Sometimes you will walk into the kitchen just to tell me I'm beautiful and sweet. Then you go back to playing. Other times you call me in your room at night just to tell me that I was a good mommy that day. Seriously. The other day your daddy apologized to you for yelling when he shouldn't have and you looked him square in the face and said "it's okay, your still my best daddy! Remember everyone needs forgiveness" We read this Little Critter book about forgiveness and so now you pass it out all the time.


You became a big brother this year. A role that I'm certain the Lord placed in your heart when he created you. You have handled this transition like a champ, exceeding all of our expectations. You beam with pride that you have two babies and claim them always. Your kind to them 90% of the time but there are moments where you push them or rip something from their hands. But I will take that percentage any day. You have to give them kisses when you see them in the morning, and when you see them after school and before they go to bed. You have to sit by them at dinner rather than at the table by us so you now have a chair and tray table so it's like their high chairs. I fear for the days when Marshall is older because I just see tons of wrestling matches and stop touching your brother in my future.


You have the best smile and give the best hugs. You must snuggle me before bed every night and I will never object that. It makes me slow down for a few minutes and just be. I love this time with you and we just talk about anything and everything.


In September you start school and will no longer be with me in the mornings and it makes me a little sad. I love having you with me.

The bottom line is we love you. Like crazy love you and are so blessed that we get to have you in our lives and be your parents.


A few other things I want to remember about you at age 4

-You love footy pajamas. They must be super hero!
-You have branched out with food and have added pizza, hot dogs, peas, and chicken nuggets to your will eat list.
-You say mines instead of mine and I love it
-You have the best imagination and often cook me chicken fish bagels with sprinkles and a side of beer.
-You want to be just like Daddy when you grow up. Drive big trucks and have 3 kids that is what you always say when asked.
-You talk to Jesus like hes a friend and I love that so so much.
-You have a hunger for learning and I hope you never lose that
-You have the prettiest gold/hazel eyes that are so animated!


Happy 4th Birthday my love!

Love
Mama

3.10.2017

What's going on

So I have been MIA. 


Our world has been a little crazy.


We found out a few weeks ago that my sweet sweet (great)uncle has lung cancer. 

The original consultation is not good and so now we are trying to make plans and see our options. 

With cancer being so wide spread on my mom's side of the family (seriously every single one of her siblings and her mother and aunts and grandparents have had a form of cancer) it is really hard to even hear the word. Having my own grandmother taken from me so soon after her diagnosis is something I still struggle with and so we are trying to avoid that if possible. 



In other news
We had one crazy wind storm here starting on Wednesday and the damage is crazy.
We lost power for about 32 hours this week and so that was interesting. Our family was spread out everywhere because most of our family was without power as well. We lost it Wednesday around 12:30 pm. So Wednesday night the twins went to stay with Mema and we stuck it out at home for the night with Grayson snuggled between us. However we woke up Thursday morning to a freezing house and knew that we could not stay there again. Thankfully we got our power back on around 7 Thursday night and while Grayson still chose to stay at Aunt Mary's we took the babies home with us to get settled back in. 
Unfortunately there are still quite a few people without power and the amount of telephone poles that are hanging over the roadways are crazy. There are several roads that are shut down because of downed poles. I mean the winds were so bad that tractor trailers were flipping over while driving. I was never so thankful when Michael told me he was out of work before the worst of the winds started. 

I never realized how much we use power. It's been a few years since we lost it and man. My house was a disaster because we couldn't wash any dishes, vacuum, laundry, cook,make coffee(!!!!!), oh yeah and no heat. 
I'm just thankful it's back on.


My sweet big boy turns 4 next Sunday and I'm all sort of torn up about it. I mean I love this age but I miss that fat baby. He starting to look more like a kid than a baby. The fat rolls are gone and his face is thinning out. I will be sharing a letter I wrote to him next week, 


This weekend I plan on getting my house in order and just staying warm in this crazy weather (because today it's 28 and snowing fun fun)

2.23.2017

Confessions.....

Let's confess somethings today



I can't remember the last time I moped my floors.........I know it was after Christmas but I can't remember for real so there's that. But in my defense I spot clean them sooooo much because someone is always spilling/spitting up/snotting everywhere that they get cleaned with a baby wipe often. Just not all at once



I hate showering on the weekends. If we have no where to go I will always take a quick shower after my work out but I will not wash my hair. I'm not a shower person. I don't stand there and take hour showers. I get in do what I have to do, while trying to do the minimum, like if I can skip a hair wash I do! and get out. I have other things to do!



I let Grayson take hour long baths on the weekends in the middle of the day. Sometimes Mommy needs a breather to eat lunch in peace so once the babies go down he goes in the tub. I can see him the whole time but I'm in the other room eating without being interrupted. Once I'm done I grab a load of laundry and fold that while he is still in the bath. Last Sunday we changed the water 3 times.



I said I was going to start a diet the first of the year and well it's complicated. I have cut way back on carbs and sugar, but I'm still enjoying pizza Friday's (in moderation). I just want to be happy and going on a super strict diet makes me hangry and I just don't want to do that again. Plus I gave up all soda so there's that.



I'm turning 30 in June and it really is not bothering me.  I get more upset thinking of my big boy turning 4 and my babies turning 1 than I do turning 30. Truth is my 20's were pretty amazing I met Michael, we got married, bought a house and had all our babies. So I'm just not phased by getting older because I have a feeling it's just going to keep getting better.



I'm still reading my One Year Bible. But I'm like 3 days behind. I have plans to catch up this weekend and I'm really enjoying it.



I want a Starbucks Frappucino like super bad. But the calories and the closest Starbucks is like half an hour away so it saves me from all that mess. The downside the nearest Target is also half an hour away.



I'm obsessed with planning our summer trip. We are taking a family vacation early in August but then later in August just Michael and I are going away and I'm beyond excited!!! I need a trip and 3 days of solid sleep.


I should probably be getting the babies off of baby food all together however we still have some and I will not waste it. So they keep eating it until we run out!



Speaking of the twins I do not want them to grow up but I'm ready for the bottles to be done. Really the whole washing and making and labeling for school well I'm just over it. We are in the home stretch!




2.14.2017

My Loves-Show and Tell Tuesday

Happy Valentines Day! 

What better way to celebrate the day of love then to talk about my loves. 



Michael




This guy right here is the love of my life. God knew what he was doing when our paths crossed. This man helps me be me. In marrying Michael I finally felt like it was okay to be myself and still to this day he pushes and stretches me to be the best version of me. He is my biggest supporter and the person that can make me laugh until I cry. He works everyday to let me know that he loves me and for that I'm forever grateful. I never have to question how is heart feels about me.  He is just plain amazing and I'm so blessed that I get to do this life with him. 




Grayson Michael



The one that made me Mom. This boy right here holds a special place in my heart because he is the only one to hold that title. He is just awesome. He has the sweetest heart and is so full of love. Even at 3 (almost 4) this child puts other first and there are times it brings tears to my eyes. He is funny too and knows how to get a laugh going. He is quick with a hug or kiss if he thinks you need it. Plus he is the best big brother there ever was. We lay in bed at night together and just chat and that is one of the favorite parts of my day because listening to him amazes me. His imagination is on a whole other level and I catch myself sitting in the bath room while he takes a bath just to listen to his stories he makes up. I love this boy and I cannot wait to see who he grows up to be.




Charlotte Carol-Halli


This girl is the answer to my prayers. I prayed to God to get pregnant again and he delivered (and then some). She is a feisty one, with gorgeous auburn hair and pale blue eyes that melt you. She can hold her own with her brothers and is pretty rough and tumble. Even at 9 months old she has her daddy wrapped around her finger. She does things in her own time, like I caught her crawling the other day and then when she saw me watching her she dropped down to her stomach and army crawled. Stubborn should have been her middle name. She also exudes joy, laughs all the time and has the best smile. I can see her being a tough tough girl because she is in the middle of two brothers but the one who is kind to all. She is the girl I didn't know I would have and well she just fills my heart. There is nothing better then when I put her to bed at night. She does one final sigh when she finally gives into sleep and it is the best to watch her sweet face sleep.  I cannot wait to see what God has in store for this sweet and feisty soul. 





Marshall Thomas-Joseph


My bonus baby. I got a two for one deal and it was the best deal ever. This little nugget is a brute. At 9 months he holds his own with his big brother and they roll around together and laugh together. To see that relationship makes my heart so full. He was the baby that I didn't know I would ever have and I'm grateful I do. Marshall has a full body and soul smile and you can't help but smile when he does. I think it's the dimples. He is a snuggle bug and when you are sitting on the floor to play with him he will randomly come and lay his head on you and just snuggle for a second. He is the youngest (by 2 mins) but he is a brute. I'm so in love with him. He is always yelling or destroying something so I'm sure in my years to come that I will be kept on my toes with this one. He has the best giggle there ever was and I tickle under his chin just to hear it multiple times a day. I can't wait to here is voice for the first time. Right now it's pretty raspy and I wonder if he will hold onto that. I cannot wait to watch this boy grow up (well maybe I can wait just a little bit longer)


Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


Linking up with Andrea

2.13.2017

"I get it and thank you"

Sometimes I sit and stare at my babies and think wow. Just wow. I was entrusted to raise these little humans. That's an overwhelming feeling.


One, I don't want to screw them up. I mean I'm eight shades of crazy, and I really don't need to pass all of that down to them.

Why did God chose me? I still struggle with that sometimes. Why me? Why do I deserve this privilege? Why me when I fail on the daily?


I find my self questioning God a lot. It's something I'm working on. I have gotten better. After my miscarriage I feel like I yelled and questioned him everyday. Then on April 21st I remember after everyone had left the hospital and it was just Michael and I and the twins and I just sat there with tears running down my face and I look up and said out loud "I get it and thank you".


I was pretty out spoken that I wanted TWO and only TWO children. I didn't want to be out numbered. I didn't have 3 pregnancies in me ( I have rather large children Grayson was 10 pounds 4 ounces), and it was a big conversation to get Michael to agree to a second.

When I got pregnant with my second. I went into full on planning mode. I kid you not I got the positive test and then pulled out my calendar to figure out what the best day would be to have my c-section. I was all backwards.


At 9 weeks I remember going into my appointment and having this nagging feeling on my heart. I was miserable. I couldn't explain it but the JOY was not there. That day when they told me there was no heartbeat. I was devastated, distraught, numb, angry, but expecting it. I felt like I had made it happen to myself with the whole not enjoying the miracle God had graced me with.


I remember praying, and questioning, and praying some more that if he would allow me to get pregnant again and to keep that baby that I would just be so full of JOY. That I would let him lead this time.


Well He showed me in a big big way that He has the answers and that His plan all along was so much better.


So when I sit and stare at these sweet faces that God blessed me with the most overwhelming feeling I feel is love. Love for a God that knows better than me. Love for these children that bring so much JOY and purpose to my life. Love for the life that I'm living day to day, a life that people pray for all the time for years and years and God has blessed me with it. My heart is so full it aches sometimes but in the best way, and while I fail everyday (multiple times) I'm sure I will look back on some of those moments someday and say " I get it and thank you"


2.08.2017

Workin' it Wednesday 02/2017

Linking up with Shay today to talk about workin' it in marriage

Marriage is hard, messy crazy, frustrating, and a constant work in progress.

Marriage is beautiful, fulfilling, loving, and a safe place


My marriage is all of those things.

We work at our marriage and I'm not ashamed to say that. 
We know a married couple that wants their marriage to be easy and guess what they both complain about the other one all the time. But since they don't want to work at their marriage they don't ever talk to each other. Well I say no thank you to that.

Just to give a quick re-cap of how we met. We were both at a local bar one night I tried to butt in front of him at the juke box and we started talking. We dated for four months after that and then got engaged and were married 8 months later. Almost exactly a year after we met. We bought a house and then 4 years into marriage we had Grayson and the crazy really started.

A few things we have found that help our marriage stay connected and strong

1- We are in contact through out the day
Since Michael gets up and leaves before I'm even thinking about getting out of bed I call him on my way to work. We text throughout the day. I call him on my way home. We check in on each other. See if there is anything one of us needs. Even if it's a simple text. We are in contact. 


2- We are a team. When we had kids we realized we needed to unite or those little people would divide us really quick. So when he distributes a treat or punishment I back him and vice versa. That's just how it is. To go along with this our family of 5 comes first. No matter what we do what is best for our little unit above anything else.

3-We are each others support system. That man has my back no matter what. I get some crazy ideas and he lets me work through them and supports me no matter what. And I support him because no one is crazier than Michael Smith. Trust me. I hear it all.

4- We respect each other. There isn't one that has a say over the other. We are equal partners. We run everything (well almost) by each other. If it's a big decision that will impact our family we work through that together, and if we can't come to an agreement well then we pray.

5- We seek God. Our relationship has changed a lot in the past few years and 2017 has already shown a ton of growth. We are reading through The Bible together (but separate if that makes sense) and I can already tell a difference in how we are with each other, arguments pass quicker and we are showing each other a little more grace.

6- We still write each other love notes. I have a journal that we write back and forth in. It's not everyday but usually once every week or two. It's sweet and I love it.


One other random rule we have. We NEVER EVER talk bad about each other behind each others back. I have seen way to many times people complaining about their spouse and I just feel like that so un-productive. We talk to each other if we have an issue. Because I know I would be crushed if I ever walked in a room and heard Michael talking bad about me. 

2.07.2017

Registering for Pre-K (!!!!!!)

If I could put that wide eye face emoji in my title I would because that's how I feel right now.

I filled out and mailed this sweet little application in last Friday. Sigh where does the time go? Didn't I just have him?

My first born, the one that made me Mama is going to be starting Pre-K this year. In September I will have to put my heart on a little school bus and send him off.

I'm struggling with this so bad. Even worse than daycare. Why?

Well.........
Let's start with the whole riding a bus thing. Yes let me say that again. Riding.a.bus.all.by.himself. To and from school. It's a small bus just for the Pre-K program, but riding with a stranger, with someone not family. Makes me just a little un-easy. This worry of mine is going right in my prayer journal because I need to give it over to Him.

Next on my list of making my heart ache. He won't be with me everyday. On days that he is not home with Michael he is with me riding to work and then with me riding home from work. I'm going to miss the "Mommy your sweet and beautiful and I love you so much like to the moon so much and can you play that home song please?". That. I'm going to miss that. I'm going to miss baby doughnut Friday's. It's just going to be an adjustment. I'm losing time with him and it makes me sad.


I won't be just down the street. Right now I'm less than a mile down the road from him. It's really about half a mile and if need be I can be to him in less than 2 mins. Now we are miles apart. He is like 15 mins from me and to me that seems like oceans.


I won't be picking him up anymore. Now I know I still have 2 other little ones to pick up everyday. But seriously getting Grayson from daycare at the end of the day is one of the best moments of my day. He runs to me, hugs me, and then we discuss the rest of the night. I won't get that moment with him at the end of my long work day.


But I know in my Mama heart he is more than ready for this. He struggles with bed time when he has to take a nap (which they still do in his nursery school room at daycare) and so with going to Pre-K he will be eliminating that. The Pre-K program in our school district is half day and so he will be getting on the bus from our house and my angel of a father has offered to come and get him on the bus the 2 days a week that Michael isn't home or Mema isn't watching the twins. He will get to be home and play outside more. He is ready. We went back and forth on keeping him in daycare and having him go to that Pre-K or switching to the school district and we decided that the school district is best. for a few reasons

1. It's free. All the praise hands for reducing that hefty daycare bill every month
2. This is the school that he will attend through his whole school career.
3. We feel that this will make the transition to kinder smoother because he knows the building and kids
4. I think he is ready for a more standard school setting, with teachers and more than 10 kids in his class.


I love our daycare, the people there truly do love our babies and are so sweet. But it is still a daycare and so I think he is ready to be with teachers and have a more school like structure.


We have prayed about this and we know it is what's best for our family and best for our biggest boy. I'm just going to pray a little bit more about my fears and I know that they will be resolved.



2.06.2017

Photo an hour 2/4/17

SEVEN


EIGHT


NINE




TEN


ELEVEN


TWELVE


ONE


TWO


THREE


FOUR


FIVE


SIX


SEVEN


EIGHT







I saw someone do this once and thought it was so neat. No words just pictures of our Saturday.