What's up Wednesday err Thursday

What are we eating

Grilled everything. Hot dogs, chicken, steak, corn. Just grilled everything. It's easy clean up.

What I'm remincsing about

Our anniversary trip to Toronto last year. This year we are doing a staycation because a) time and b) time. But I loved exploring that city with my honey.

At the CN Tower I think we were on the observation deck

What I'm loving

My essential oils. I just bought a kit so stay tuned I'm working on a post how we are putting these to good use.

What we've been up to

Swimming and taking care of babies. Oh Grayson went to the Star Wars night at the baseball park with my parents and had a blast but still won't go near a single character. Disney is not in our future anytime soon

What I'm dreading

My mom going back to school. That means that I'm solo getting 3 kids ready for daycare to leave the house before 6:15. Ahhhh

What I'm working on

My oils post and getting my family of 5 (!!!! it's still weird saying that) as organized as possible for my sisters wedding. I have a bin that I have been putting everything in that I need.

What I'm excited about 

The wedding and our anniversary trip. Michael and I have not had time to ourselves since I got pregnant. Sure my mom would take Grayson on the weekends sometimes but let's face it I was huge so we stayed home and did nothing. I'm excited to have 2 nights alone just us away from the house.

What I'm watching/reading

Watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It's on netflix, it's hilarious, I'm addicted. I'm reading my oil books.

I'm listening to 

H.O.L.Y by FLG because Grayson loves it. He calls it his I love you song.

What I'm wearing

Skiping this. I'm in that akwards non maternity/maternity clothes state. But my body is changing everyday and I refuse to buy clothes in every size so I look awful most days.

What I'm doing this weekend

Celebrating my Aunt's birthday at the lake and kissing my babies

What I'm looking forward to next month

Again wedding, anniversary trip, and a pedicure!

What else is new

The babies are growing, Grayson is the best big brother ever and we are just living life

Favorite part about summer

Having the babies here we love them so much and going swimming with Grayson after school most days. I love that time just him and I!


My hamster wheel

I live on a hamster wheel. I mean that in the best most loving way ever. Really I do. I love my babies so hard but because of them I live on a hamster wheel.

Going back to work has been a little bit more of a transition than I thought. It's just once I get home and we eat dinner and get ready for the next day and feed the babies and do baths and then feed the babies again and then get everyone into bed I'm sitting down for the first time at around 9 at night. Exhausted. But I need time to unwind so I stay up for at least another half an hour watching a mindless show so that I can just shut my brain off from my never ending to do list.

One thing twins has taught me, and really having 3 kids 3 and under has taught me is that I can't do it all. I have learned to say no, and to let the little things go.

I suck at pictures but here is our typical work day routine (when Michael is also working)

4:45 my alarm goes off, I check on the babies over the monitor and see they are moving but not crying so I rush around to get dressed ( I try to lay my clothes out the night before) and start my hair/make up. I shower the night before so that's off my plate.

5:15 I feed whoever is more awake, usually Marshall, once he is done I put him in the swing or boppy and grab Charlotte. Diaper changes and feeding happens now. They eat around 4-5.5 ounces this bottle.

6:00 My mom gets to my house and takes over the babies while I go get Grayson up. We snuggle for a second and then head downstairs.

6:10 I work on getting him dressed, making my coffee, brushing his teeth and putting my lunch in my lunch bag.

6:25 we are headed out the door after kissing the babies a hundred times goodbye, and Grayson usually lets me give them once kiss too. He always says "See you later Marshy Moo Moo I will miss you so much today, Oh don't worry Char Char I will miss you too!" It melts my heart every time.

6:30 We are pulling out of the driveway and headed to drop him off at school. We talk to Michael now most days but if he can't talk then we listen to music.

6:55 drop off Grayson and head to work.

7:00 I'm at work boot up my computer and hunker down for the day.

3:35 I'm at school picking up Grayson and heading home.

4:10 We are home! I kiss Michael and the babies and then Grayson and I usually head outside to swim, it has been in the 90's here for the last 2 weeks so we get a quick swim in.I always offer for Michael to go in and sometimes he will and I will sit with the twins.

4:50 We are back in the house and Michael is starting dinner. We try to do quick dinners and we do a crock pot meal at least once a week.

5:15 We eat usually while jiggling a baby because 5 starts witching hour.

6:00 The babies eat and then usually grab a cat nap.

6:30 Michael will clean up dinner, make lunches, and get everything ready for the next day as well as grab PJ's for all the kids.

7:00 Grayson's bath time. We alternate the babies giving them baths every other night and usually do this around now too. We also alternate who gives baths/who takes Grayson to bed. Most nights though Michael gives bath I do bed time only so he can get to bed earlier if the babies go to sleep fast.

7:30 ish the babies get another bottle and are usually asleep between 8 and 8:30. Michael heads up once they are feed and at least one of them is asleep upstairs.

8:30 I snuggle with Grayson and then we head up to bed and read two books, sing one song, he tells me one story and then we snuggle for one more minute and I head out. On a good night this takes 15 mins and I don't have to go back in but most nights I'm in his room at least one more time because he's hot/cold/scared/sniffly/needs to wash his hands and any other crazy excuse he has to extend bed time.

9:00 I finally have sometime to get the things I need around for the next day I pick out my clothes see if I can go one more day without washing my hair and shower. Then I watch about 20 mins of a show on Netflix and then go to bed

I'm usually upstairs in bed and asleep around 10 and then we start it all over again the next day!

Now are you wondering how the house gets cleaned and my laundry gets done? My mom watches the babies 3 days a week and well she does it all. Not because we ask her too, actually we tell her not too, but she does it anyway so that when we get home we can devote our time to our kids. When I came home from work the first day and she had done the laundry all 5 loads of it I cried. I don't know what I'm going to do when she is back at work and the babies are at daycare, but I feel so incredibly blessed for all the she is doing for us. She keeps telling me that she has it easy because Grayson is at school so when the babies are sleeping she really does have the free time to scrub the bathroom and mop the floors, where as when I'm home on the weekends and when Michael is off we have Grayson with us so when the babies are sleeping we get to give him one on one time. She is one amazing women.

So that's our days for now. I'm know in a few weeks it will change when the babies start eating cereal, and then when they start daycare. We will be going through another adjustment period, and I'm sure then it will get even crazier.


2 month twin update!

This is super late (they will be 3 months on Thursday oops!) but better late than never because guess what I never did their one month update. OH well.

The babies are growing like weeds. And we all know I love a good fat baby so I'm in heaven. First up our girl Charlotte.

Baby Girl,
You are for sure my most relaxed baby ever. A true observer. You are content just laying on your play mat looking around. Your not phased by your brothers at all and trust me they both can be loud. Your currently weighting in at 11 pounds 8 ounces so you have almost doubled your birth weight and your now 22.5 inches. Your long and lean my sweet girl. You are too long for your 3 month sleepers and onsies so onto six months we go! You for sure don't eat as much as your brother but sometimes you go to town and suck down your full bottle. I'm just in love with you. I went shopping for some clothes for you the other day and I had to practice some restraint because I could have bought the whole store. You are just sweet and put up with your big brother loving on you like crazy. You just stare at him like he is the best thing since sliced bread. I hope you always feel that way about him. You and your brother are on the same schedule, you both eat every 3 hours once you wake up which is anywhere between 4 and 6 in the morning then after your 6-7 bottle you get a dream feed around 8-9 and sleep until the morning so you both are giving me about 7-9 hours a night and this mama will take it. Naps are still cat naps but I think once we start rice cereal (at 4 months) we will be able to start a more consistent nap routine. These last 2 months with you sweet Charlotte have flown by and I can't wait to watch you grow just don't do it too fast, my sweet girl. Nicknames are Char Char, Sis, Sissy, Charlips, and Ruby (because you sare still holding strong with that red hair!)

My Baby Boy,
Yes your the baby of the family (by 2 mins) but your a chunker. You weigh 12 pounds 5 ounces and are 22.5 inches long. You are one pound away from doubling your birthweight and you will get there soon because you love to eat. Even though it takes you forever we are hoping to get that under control. We think you have silent reflux which is so so different from your big brother who had traditional acid reflux. You don't projectile spit up like normal you just scream through most bottles and then proceed to scream out in pain about every half an hour until bed time. When you do spit up it's not a ton but it is chunky and smells awful like it has sat in your throat since you last ate. You calm down pretty easy and have the best dimples. Your cheeks I could just eat them up and you are a kicker. You are a light sleeper and that sucks but we don't quite down for you, you just need to figure it out. You hate the play mat and would much preffer to be in your little chair that we have for you. Any time anyone talks to you you smile so big. You love your big brother and that he will pull that dang turtle on your chair for you 154854 times.in.a.row. You like the swing more than your sister and take some naps in there. I have loved watching you change from a scrawny baby to a chunky one that looks just like his big brother (seriously crazy). I can't wait to see you keep growning, I love you my dimpled boy. Nicknames are Marsh Marsh, Marshy moo, Marshkall and Marshall man.

Having twins is a game changer and although they are the same exact age such differnt babies. I love them more than words can say and I'm equally excited and terrified to see them grow. I will soak this all in because these are my last babies and I don't want to miss or forget anything!


Busy Busy Busy Fourth of July weekend (a week late!)

The fourth of July weekend was just plain busy I think that anytime we have to leave the house with all the kids it's crazy but we still have to do it because it's summer! and we must get out! And I know this is a week late but the week following this weekend was just as crazy ha! I think crazy it our new normal.

So Friday I picked up my biggest boy from school and we went grocery shopping. Big mistake. It was the Friday before a holiday weekend and it was just a mad house. My boy was a trooper though and some baby doughnuts while he cruised in the race car cart made him super happy. We picked up dinner on the way home and then relaxed for the night and just prayed that we could get through the witching hour with the twins. They do just so happen to have the same exact witching hour that lasts not one but two hours, and that time just happens to be when we eat dinner and do baths so most nights are spent holding a baby while trying to eat, ahh life as a parent.

Saturday my sister came and got Grayson to take him to the local touch a firetruck event that was going on in her town. He climbed up on the truck and then promptly asked for a ride because the other 2 times he has been to a touch a truck even they were also giving rides. Ha! They told him it was out of gas and he was fine with that. They came back and she took him outside to play in the back yard before it got too hot and I got a chance to jump in the shower. Then it was naps for everyone and I got us all packed up to head to my Aunts reitrement party. Michael came home showered and then we headed out. It was a fun low key party but I'm so glad I had the forethought to throw Grayson's bike in the back of the van and text my sister in law to do the same for Brayden because my Grandma's backyard was maxed out on space with people but they got to ride their bikes in the driveway the whole entire night, when they weren't busy eating freeze pops and playing Star Wars. We got home and got everyone in bed.

Sunday we stayed pretty low key at home until Michael got home and then we packed up and headed to my brothers for a cookout and to watch the parade in their town that night. Grayson went to the parade with everyone while Michael and I stayed back with the twins because a) it was hot out and b) the firetrucks are just too plain loud for their little ears. Michael cooked dinner up while they were gone and when everyone got back we ate and then all the men went out front and played corn hole (bags) until it was too dark to see. We didn't get home until 10 and then everyone crashed.

Monday the 4th my Mom called and asked to have Grayson for the day and keep him overnight. My Aunt picked him up and took him over there and they went to the parade, jumped in bounce houses, swam, did poppers, conffetti poppers, sparklers, smores and watched the fireworks. It broke my heart to be away from him but there is no way to do all that with the twins in tow so I'm very thankful that my parents, sister and aunt made sure he had an amazing fourth. Next year will be so different and we can all go to the parade. Michael and I stayed home and checked off a ton of stuff from our list.

Tuesday I only worked for a few hours because my sweet babies had their 2 month check up. They are getting huge and I have a 2 month post coming up tomorrow. We went right from there to pick up Grayson from my parents house and then spend some time as a family. Mema called and asked if she could take Grayson overnight because she wanted to take him to the drive in to Finding Dory. He was so excited and so he left us for another night. Man I miss that boy when he's gone.

Overall we had a busy but family filled productive weekend. 


It's so amazing

June 25th was one year since my miscarriage.

I noticed the date on the calender and my heart instantlly hurt. I went right back to that exam room when he couldn't find a heartbeat with his doppler. I remember begging the ultrasound tech to squeeze me in because I couldn't wait another day to know if there was a heartbeat or not. She told me I would have to wait for her to squeeze me in. We sat in the waiting room, I tried not to cry, Michael had no words just held my hand and stared at the floor.
She called us back, and I climbed up on the table and waited as she squeezed that goo on my stomach, and there was a cloudy picture, she told me I would have to have an internal one. So we go that going and she did the side by side of the baby and the heartbeat and it was a flat line. I felt the tears come and as she opened her mouth I prayed she would stop but then the words came. No heartbeat. My heart has never been so broken in my life. I couldn't figure out why? why me? why now? why did God take this from me? and then I went onto what? What did I do to cause this? Gosh typing this I still cry. I still mourn that loss because it was so profound in my life.

I became a different kind of mother. One that got down on the floor and played more, one that let him eat ice cream at 9 at night, one that snuggled a little bit longer everynight.

You have to wait two cycles before you can try and get pregnant and I remember praying so hard for them to come, so I could try again because I felt like the only way I would truly heal would be to get pregnant again. Which was partly true, getting pregnant again helped me to stop thinking of it everyday but in reality you never truly heal. It tainted my pregnancy with the twins a little bit. I remember walking in to the 9 week sonogram (the same one where we found out about our loss) and being so nervous. I had a weird feeling and I though that mean another miscarriage, turns out it was just my mom gut (and a little bit of morning sickness) letting me know it was TWINS!

And now here we are. I remember on June 25th after I realized the day and felt all those emotions and crying in the shower picking up my sweet twins. How good is God? I mean look where I'm at now. Sure that loss was horrific, but he had something bigger and better planned for us. We got two and in someway's I feel like it was always supposed to be this way. We were meant to be parents to twins and have two boys and a girl. A girl that I never thought I would have. I never thought I would have 3 kids. We had setteled on 2 and God knew that our family was not complete with 2 that we needed 3 and even though he had to walk us through heartbreak to get us there he gave us our 3 beautiful perfect children.

It's so amazing how God's plan is always perfect and in the right time.