2.23.2017

Confessions.....

Let's confess somethings today



I can't remember the last time I moped my floors.........I know it was after Christmas but I can't remember for real so there's that. But in my defense I spot clean them sooooo much because someone is always spilling/spitting up/snotting everywhere that they get cleaned with a baby wipe often. Just not all at once



I hate showering on the weekends. If we have no where to go I will always take a quick shower after my work out but I will not wash my hair. I'm not a shower person. I don't stand there and take hour showers. I get in do what I have to do, while trying to do the minimum, like if I can skip a hair wash I do! and get out. I have other things to do!



I let Grayson take hour long baths on the weekends in the middle of the day. Sometimes Mommy needs a breather to eat lunch in peace so once the babies go down he goes in the tub. I can see him the whole time but I'm in the other room eating without being interrupted. Once I'm done I grab a load of laundry and fold that while he is still in the bath. Last Sunday we changed the water 3 times.



I said I was going to start a diet the first of the year and well it's complicated. I have cut way back on carbs and sugar, but I'm still enjoying pizza Friday's (in moderation). I just want to be happy and going on a super strict diet makes me hangry and I just don't want to do that again. Plus I gave up all soda so there's that.



I'm turning 30 in June and it really is not bothering me.  I get more upset thinking of my big boy turning 4 and my babies turning 1 than I do turning 30. Truth is my 20's were pretty amazing I met Michael, we got married, bought a house and had all our babies. So I'm just not phased by getting older because I have a feeling it's just going to keep getting better.



I'm still reading my One Year Bible. But I'm like 3 days behind. I have plans to catch up this weekend and I'm really enjoying it.



I want a Starbucks Frappucino like super bad. But the calories and the closest Starbucks is like half an hour away so it saves me from all that mess. The downside the nearest Target is also half an hour away.



I'm obsessed with planning our summer trip. We are taking a family vacation early in August but then later in August just Michael and I are going away and I'm beyond excited!!! I need a trip and 3 days of solid sleep.


I should probably be getting the babies off of baby food all together however we still have some and I will not waste it. So they keep eating it until we run out!



Speaking of the twins I do not want them to grow up but I'm ready for the bottles to be done. Really the whole washing and making and labeling for school well I'm just over it. We are in the home stretch!




2.14.2017

My Loves-Show and Tell Tuesday

Happy Valentines Day! 

What better way to celebrate the day of love then to talk about my loves. 



Michael




This guy right here is the love of my life. God knew what he was doing when our paths crossed. This man helps me be me. In marrying Michael I finally felt like it was okay to be myself and still to this day he pushes and stretches me to be the best version of me. He is my biggest supporter and the person that can make me laugh until I cry. He works everyday to let me know that he loves me and for that I'm forever grateful. I never have to question how is heart feels about me.  He is just plain amazing and I'm so blessed that I get to do this life with him. 




Grayson Michael



The one that made me Mom. This boy right here holds a special place in my heart because he is the only one to hold that title. He is just awesome. He has the sweetest heart and is so full of love. Even at 3 (almost 4) this child puts other first and there are times it brings tears to my eyes. He is funny too and knows how to get a laugh going. He is quick with a hug or kiss if he thinks you need it. Plus he is the best big brother there ever was. We lay in bed at night together and just chat and that is one of the favorite parts of my day because listening to him amazes me. His imagination is on a whole other level and I catch myself sitting in the bath room while he takes a bath just to listen to his stories he makes up. I love this boy and I cannot wait to see who he grows up to be.




Charlotte Carol-Halli


This girl is the answer to my prayers. I prayed to God to get pregnant again and he delivered (and then some). She is a feisty one, with gorgeous auburn hair and pale blue eyes that melt you. She can hold her own with her brothers and is pretty rough and tumble. Even at 9 months old she has her daddy wrapped around her finger. She does things in her own time, like I caught her crawling the other day and then when she saw me watching her she dropped down to her stomach and army crawled. Stubborn should have been her middle name. She also exudes joy, laughs all the time and has the best smile. I can see her being a tough tough girl because she is in the middle of two brothers but the one who is kind to all. She is the girl I didn't know I would have and well she just fills my heart. There is nothing better then when I put her to bed at night. She does one final sigh when she finally gives into sleep and it is the best to watch her sweet face sleep.  I cannot wait to see what God has in store for this sweet and feisty soul. 





Marshall Thomas-Joseph


My bonus baby. I got a two for one deal and it was the best deal ever. This little nugget is a brute. At 9 months he holds his own with his big brother and they roll around together and laugh together. To see that relationship makes my heart so full. He was the baby that I didn't know I would ever have and I'm grateful I do. Marshall has a full body and soul smile and you can't help but smile when he does. I think it's the dimples. He is a snuggle bug and when you are sitting on the floor to play with him he will randomly come and lay his head on you and just snuggle for a second. He is the youngest (by 2 mins) but he is a brute. I'm so in love with him. He is always yelling or destroying something so I'm sure in my years to come that I will be kept on my toes with this one. He has the best giggle there ever was and I tickle under his chin just to hear it multiple times a day. I can't wait to here is voice for the first time. Right now it's pretty raspy and I wonder if he will hold onto that. I cannot wait to watch this boy grow up (well maybe I can wait just a little bit longer)


Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


Linking up with Andrea

2.13.2017

"I get it and thank you"

Sometimes I sit and stare at my babies and think wow. Just wow. I was entrusted to raise these little humans. That's an overwhelming feeling.


One, I don't want to screw them up. I mean I'm eight shades of crazy, and I really don't need to pass all of that down to them.

Why did God chose me? I still struggle with that sometimes. Why me? Why do I deserve this privilege? Why me when I fail on the daily?


I find my self questioning God a lot. It's something I'm working on. I have gotten better. After my miscarriage I feel like I yelled and questioned him everyday. Then on April 21st I remember after everyone had left the hospital and it was just Michael and I and the twins and I just sat there with tears running down my face and I look up and said out loud "I get it and thank you".


I was pretty out spoken that I wanted TWO and only TWO children. I didn't want to be out numbered. I didn't have 3 pregnancies in me ( I have rather large children Grayson was 10 pounds 4 ounces), and it was a big conversation to get Michael to agree to a second.

When I got pregnant with my second. I went into full on planning mode. I kid you not I got the positive test and then pulled out my calendar to figure out what the best day would be to have my c-section. I was all backwards.


At 9 weeks I remember going into my appointment and having this nagging feeling on my heart. I was miserable. I couldn't explain it but the JOY was not there. That day when they told me there was no heartbeat. I was devastated, distraught, numb, angry, but expecting it. I felt like I had made it happen to myself with the whole not enjoying the miracle God had graced me with.


I remember praying, and questioning, and praying some more that if he would allow me to get pregnant again and to keep that baby that I would just be so full of JOY. That I would let him lead this time.


Well He showed me in a big big way that He has the answers and that His plan all along was so much better.


So when I sit and stare at these sweet faces that God blessed me with the most overwhelming feeling I feel is love. Love for a God that knows better than me. Love for these children that bring so much JOY and purpose to my life. Love for the life that I'm living day to day, a life that people pray for all the time for years and years and God has blessed me with it. My heart is so full it aches sometimes but in the best way, and while I fail everyday (multiple times) I'm sure I will look back on some of those moments someday and say " I get it and thank you"


2.08.2017

Workin' it Wednesday 02/2017

Linking up with Shay today to talk about workin' it in marriage

Marriage is hard, messy crazy, frustrating, and a constant work in progress.

Marriage is beautiful, fulfilling, loving, and a safe place


My marriage is all of those things.

We work at our marriage and I'm not ashamed to say that. 
We know a married couple that wants their marriage to be easy and guess what they both complain about the other one all the time. But since they don't want to work at their marriage they don't ever talk to each other. Well I say no thank you to that.

Just to give a quick re-cap of how we met. We were both at a local bar one night I tried to butt in front of him at the juke box and we started talking. We dated for four months after that and then got engaged and were married 8 months later. Almost exactly a year after we met. We bought a house and then 4 years into marriage we had Grayson and the crazy really started.

A few things we have found that help our marriage stay connected and strong

1- We are in contact through out the day
Since Michael gets up and leaves before I'm even thinking about getting out of bed I call him on my way to work. We text throughout the day. I call him on my way home. We check in on each other. See if there is anything one of us needs. Even if it's a simple text. We are in contact. 


2- We are a team. When we had kids we realized we needed to unite or those little people would divide us really quick. So when he distributes a treat or punishment I back him and vice versa. That's just how it is. To go along with this our family of 5 comes first. No matter what we do what is best for our little unit above anything else.

3-We are each others support system. That man has my back no matter what. I get some crazy ideas and he lets me work through them and supports me no matter what. And I support him because no one is crazier than Michael Smith. Trust me. I hear it all.

4- We respect each other. There isn't one that has a say over the other. We are equal partners. We run everything (well almost) by each other. If it's a big decision that will impact our family we work through that together, and if we can't come to an agreement well then we pray.

5- We seek God. Our relationship has changed a lot in the past few years and 2017 has already shown a ton of growth. We are reading through The Bible together (but separate if that makes sense) and I can already tell a difference in how we are with each other, arguments pass quicker and we are showing each other a little more grace.

6- We still write each other love notes. I have a journal that we write back and forth in. It's not everyday but usually once every week or two. It's sweet and I love it.


One other random rule we have. We NEVER EVER talk bad about each other behind each others back. I have seen way to many times people complaining about their spouse and I just feel like that so un-productive. We talk to each other if we have an issue. Because I know I would be crushed if I ever walked in a room and heard Michael talking bad about me. 

2.07.2017

Registering for Pre-K (!!!!!!)

If I could put that wide eye face emoji in my title I would because that's how I feel right now.

I filled out and mailed this sweet little application in last Friday. Sigh where does the time go? Didn't I just have him?

My first born, the one that made me Mama is going to be starting Pre-K this year. In September I will have to put my heart on a little school bus and send him off.

I'm struggling with this so bad. Even worse than daycare. Why?

Well.........
Let's start with the whole riding a bus thing. Yes let me say that again. Riding.a.bus.all.by.himself. To and from school. It's a small bus just for the Pre-K program, but riding with a stranger, with someone not family. Makes me just a little un-easy. This worry of mine is going right in my prayer journal because I need to give it over to Him.

Next on my list of making my heart ache. He won't be with me everyday. On days that he is not home with Michael he is with me riding to work and then with me riding home from work. I'm going to miss the "Mommy your sweet and beautiful and I love you so much like to the moon so much and can you play that home song please?". That. I'm going to miss that. I'm going to miss baby doughnut Friday's. It's just going to be an adjustment. I'm losing time with him and it makes me sad.


I won't be just down the street. Right now I'm less than a mile down the road from him. It's really about half a mile and if need be I can be to him in less than 2 mins. Now we are miles apart. He is like 15 mins from me and to me that seems like oceans.


I won't be picking him up anymore. Now I know I still have 2 other little ones to pick up everyday. But seriously getting Grayson from daycare at the end of the day is one of the best moments of my day. He runs to me, hugs me, and then we discuss the rest of the night. I won't get that moment with him at the end of my long work day.


But I know in my Mama heart he is more than ready for this. He struggles with bed time when he has to take a nap (which they still do in his nursery school room at daycare) and so with going to Pre-K he will be eliminating that. The Pre-K program in our school district is half day and so he will be getting on the bus from our house and my angel of a father has offered to come and get him on the bus the 2 days a week that Michael isn't home or Mema isn't watching the twins. He will get to be home and play outside more. He is ready. We went back and forth on keeping him in daycare and having him go to that Pre-K or switching to the school district and we decided that the school district is best. for a few reasons

1. It's free. All the praise hands for reducing that hefty daycare bill every month
2. This is the school that he will attend through his whole school career.
3. We feel that this will make the transition to kinder smoother because he knows the building and kids
4. I think he is ready for a more standard school setting, with teachers and more than 10 kids in his class.


I love our daycare, the people there truly do love our babies and are so sweet. But it is still a daycare and so I think he is ready to be with teachers and have a more school like structure.


We have prayed about this and we know it is what's best for our family and best for our biggest boy. I'm just going to pray a little bit more about my fears and I know that they will be resolved.



2.06.2017

Photo an hour 2/4/17

SEVEN


EIGHT


NINE




TEN


ELEVEN


TWELVE


ONE


TWO


THREE


FOUR


FIVE


SIX


SEVEN


EIGHT







I saw someone do this once and thought it was so neat. No words just pictures of our Saturday.







2.03.2017

9 MONTH TWIN UPDATE

My sweet little nuggets are 9 months old. Where does the time go? I feel like I just had them and now they are getting teeth, crawling everywhere and still holding onto the blond and red hair along with blue eyes.


*Also in writing this post I feel like a horrible mother. I have like 3 pictures I have taken in the last month. Fail. Huge big big fail. I need to document them better. This weekend my one and only goal was to back up my phone and makes space so that I can take all the pictures. And I did it so bring on the pictures



First up Sissy Girl

Charlotte.
Oh sweet girl. I just love you. Your are so beautiful. Your blue eyes and auburn hair slay me. You have the best crinkle nose smile that I get whenever I greet you in the morning, or pick you up from daycare. You for sure know I'm your Mama and get to me as fast as you can. However I will say that Daddy still has your heart, but it's a close second for big brother Grayson. Those two rock your world. You lay your head on them and snuggle anytime one of them picks you up and you laugh when they walk in a room and kick your legs with excitement. You have been our little stubborn one. You took forever to put weight on your legs and you still are not crawling. But wait you army crawl faster than your brother regular crawls. You just like to do you things your way and in your time. God is teaching me a lot through you and so we are learning together. Your my water baby. You love the bath it's your favorite time of the day. You love to take them with your big brother because he splashes you with water and lets you chew on a matchbox car. We can't put you in there with your little brother because you two like to crawl on each other and try to use each other to stand up, yeah that's not so good in water. We went to the doctor this past week and you are weighing in at 16 pounds 8 ounces and 27 inches long. Your a peanut(compared to your brother) and have the tiniest little waist but you need 12 months for your length so all your leggings are saggy in your hips and butt. We have now started calling you Sissy peanut. Which speaking of what we call you it's Sissy 90% of the time. It's the one that has stuck. The other 10% it's Charlotte or if your Grayson Charlips.

Your my eater. You grunt and squeal until we give you food off of our plate. So far you have tried and loved meatloaf, sausage, eggs, ham, cheese, pizza, hummus (oh how you loved hummus), cottage cheese, baked potato soup, pancakes and banana's. You love all food and now that you have two teeth almost all the way in (about halfway right now) it is on to the pasta and breads! Yahoo! You still fight your bottle sometimes but get between 20-24 ounces a day. Plus still two baby food stage two meals and oatmeal twice a day. Your a good eater my love and for that I'm so so thankful.

You are my more fitful night time sleeper but a better napper. You play pretty good by yourself but if your quite it just  means your emptying whatever bin you got your hands on. You miss your baby brother when he is not around. Last month he went to daycare and you stayed home and oh girl you were so happy when he finally came home. You scooted right over to him and chewed on his finger which I'm guessing is a sign of love in your little twin world.

I never knew how bad I wanted a girl until I had a girl. I can't wait for the days of dance classes and twirly dresses. I'm so so in love with you baby girl. It is truly a blessing to be your Mama.

I love you sweet baby girl
Love Mommy




Marshall,

My sweet baby boy. Yes, your the baby but your the brute. You are just giant and I love it. Your blue eyes are to die for and your hair can't decide what color it wants to be, most days though it's dirty blonde. And those dimples. You can get away with anything when you smile that big smile and tilt your head to the side showing off the deeper of the two dimples. Sigh I'm in trouble with you. You are a Mamma's boy for sure. You weighed in at 19 pounds even and 28 and 3/4 inches. Big boy! The past few weeks you have become the kid that screams when we leave the room. If you see one of us walk out of the room and your left behind the gates your sweet little world is ending, and it does not stop until we walk back in the room and pick you up. D.R.A.M.A. But we still love you. Bath time you like but getting you out is torture. You shiver (even when it's not cold) and screech until you have a bath toy in both hands. Dressing you is a task in and of it self because you just.can't. sit. still. You are so nosy you have to try and roll over to see what is going on behind you. sigh you get that from you cousin Libby.


Your big brother is the one who gets the best giggles out of you. He pretends your a puppy and flips you on your back and scratches (tickles) your stomach and you just laugh and laugh. And it's that good deep belly baby laugh that I just love. He is pretty much your number one source of entertainment. It makes my heart all happy they way you two love each other. You even have your own song called Bubba and Brubba. He sings is to you all the time and it is just so sweet. We call you Marshy most of the time but Bubba is a close second (your big brother is Brubba) and Marshall man is another one that I use a ton.

You are a good eater just like your sister but you take forever. You get so easily distracted, get bored and then are back into two seconds later and then you get bored again. You eat more formula than your sister coming in at about 26 ish ounces a day. You love food just as much but always make that shudder face when trying new food, but still open up your mouth for more so we keep feeding you. You are so so mobile. You crawl every where and loud! We can hear you coming it's the funniest thing. You pull up on everything and walking along furniture and have recently started to go one handed with letting go for a few seconds here and there. Not going to lie I don't know if I'm ready for you to walk yet but I know it's coming sooner rather than later.

Your my good night sleeper, naps are here and there with you. Of course you and your sister are opposite. You don't like to be swaddled (unlike your sister who loves it) but you do that best butt in the air sleep ever. Your in size 12 month clothing and I just love seeing all the handme down's on you.

Bottom line sweet boy. You were meant to be the caboose to our family and we are so in love with you. I'm so blessed to watch your relationship grow with your big brother and your sister and just see who you become my sweet little charmer with the best dimples. I love you so big Marshy Moo.

Love,
Mama