The weekend

Friday night I was solo. Michael was on one of his quests to get a 4 wheeler which left me and the fat boy home alone.

I thought all day about who I could call to come over/ go see so that I wasn't home alone all night but then I decided that I could do it alone and we stayed in.

I picked up takeout and ran to the store for a few things and then we stayed in just the two of us. I have mentioned it here before that my kid is a super picky eater. He does however love this macaroni and cheese from a local restaurant. I wanted a stress free night so I got him that to eat. He gobbled it up and then decided all the extra cheese was good hair gel. I mean this kid was covered in cheese but I let it go and he kept his cheese hair until bath time.

I knew if I could get through bed time then it was smooth sailing and I could collapse into bed. Friday's are always a bad night for me because the whole week catches up with me. I was in bed by 8 catching up on some tv shows. Michael called me at 10 to tell me that they got the wheeler and were heading back home.

He slept at Chris's house for a few hours and then got home around 9. It was nice to have him home on a Saturday. After lunch and nap (for him and Grayson) we went swimming. I'm so glad we invested in a pool last year. It is seriously one of my favorite things to do as a family.

Sunday Michael was back to work and we stayed in the house for most of the day. It was so muggy out that you started to sweat at soon as you stepped outside. We headed to my parents for dinner. They had Libby because they are taking her on a trip to Corning, NY to go to the glass museum. My mom took her and Grayson in the pool before the thunder and lightning started.

Once we got home it was time to just relax with my husband. I really miss him when he's not away.
This week is full of bridal shower prep and house cleaning since I neglected it this weekend.

Happy Monday everyone! And cheers to a short work week!!!


When my husband gets a crazy idea

My husband is such an outdoors guy. He grew up on dirt bikes and working on cars. We own a muscle car that is crazy fast and we take out on date nights.

When I met him he had his car, a motorcycle, and a 4 wheeler. Over the years toys have moved around and as of right now he just has the car. Which I would never let him sell in a million years! He has almost completely rebuilt that car and it is such a labor of love plus he picked me up for our first date in that car so it has some good memories.

Anyway about a month ago we were talking about getting a 4 wheeler again. One that was bigger, that we could both ride on and that could have a plow on it to plow the driveway in the winter. After going over out bills it just didn't seem to work right now.

Well fast forward to Monday and after shuffling some things around and paying off some debt.We figured out what we could afford, Michael called the bank we got approved and on Tuesday he picked out the wheeler he wanted called the guy and now on Friday him and Chris leave for a 6 hour drive to go look at and hopefully (most likely) pick up and bring it home.

I know get a night at home just me which never happens. I plan to paint my nails, make cookies, watch TV and start going through my closet.

This was one of the things I signed on for when I married Michael. He is very detailed yet quick.I mean we were only together for 4 months when he proposed! I knew then that my life would be made up of quick decisions and be full of fun.

Here is to having a 4 wheeler to plow the driveway and to spend sometime trail riding together!


At this rate there won't be a second one

That was my response to my mother when she told me I would be so prepared for my second child.

Grayson is an easy baby. Hands down. He is happy and a lover and all boy because he climbs and bangs around with the best of them.

But you see he seems to always be getting some weird freak cold, or ailment.

For example. I get home from work last Tuesday, we are playing in the living room all 3 of us when G climbs up on the couch. He starts climbing on Michael and Michael grabs his ankle. Then out of the clear blue he says

"oh yeah check this out" I look at his ankle and sweet baby Jesus hold me it looks like he got burned.

I take a picture.................and send it to my Mom. Don't forget people I'm a 5 year old and whenever anything goes wrong I call my Momma and cry or scream for help.

She googles it and tells me it is a bite that got infected. OK fine then I look at his foot and within the last half an hour it has swelled to twice the size and turned red and is hot to the touch. Crap! Now we have to promise our lives to whatever god gets us into the doctors or go to Urgent Care. I thank the sweet Lord above because we got into the doctors within the hour. And sure as shit a mosquito bite got infected. So onto an anti-biotic we go.

But if we did not suffocate our kid you would never know he had that. He laughs, he climbs, he sings, he yells, throws his entire dinner on the floor and then yells "UH-OH" 800 bagillion times.

No flash forward to Sunday night and I wake up to the worst sound in the entire universe. My baby boy gasping for air and then barking like a seal. Michael rushes in there (while running into the door, he forgot where he was) I run downstairs grab fresh ice water and we get him calmed down and back to sleep. One work flashes in my head Croup. But then not another peep from him all night. And? When he woke up? Fine like he had just had the best night of sleep in his life. Michael called the doctor and they said if he was not coughing anymore then he should be fine. Well what do you know Monday night around 7:30 he starts wheezing again. He was up off and on all night and so we called the doctor first thing in the morning.We got in later in the afternoon and yes he does have Croup but they did not put him on a steroid. Why? Because he is at the tail end of and should be able to fight it off himself. Last night he was up a few times but only for 5 minutes at a time so it wasn't that bad. This morning he woke up with a fever but I'm guessing it was from is 3 shots he got yesterday.

Which side note did you know that once they start walking they give them shots in their arms??? I would think that that hurts worse than his fat chunky arms!

So here is to hoping that my child is on the mend

Being a parent is scary shit guys! Thank God I have my mother, and my husband who obliges me to run to the doctor allll the time. But at this rate #2 keeps getting pushed back farther and farther. (I'm kidding, kinda)


Where I have been

I'm not trying to ignore this corner of the Internet really. I just have been struggling? with being here I guess.

I don't know how much I want out here on the Internet. The struggles we are going through? No one wants to hear about that kind of stuff. My Mom has cancer, My Uncle has cancer and I'm holding my shit together by the skin of my teeth.

I'm trying to organize my house because that is what I do when my head is a mess. I'm trying to soak up every second I have with my little family because they are what makes my head less messy. They make my heart so full and happy and my focus needs to be there.

I'm trying to plan a bridal shower with 5 other bridesmaids. 2 of which do not want to have any input but then bitch when decisions are made. Thankfully I have 3 other ones who are more than helpful. I'm crafting and planning and ordering like it's my JOB.

We are in the process of finishing up our yard list so that we can have a relaxing rest of the summer but it feels like with a tornado of a 15 month old there is no such thing as relaxing.

I'm working away trying find a better balance of work and home life. I have a pretty great job. Flexible and only 8 hours a day. But some days when my boys are home and having the best time I'm stuck in my office all day and that can be hard.

This is my last full week of work for a few weeks and that makes my heart so happy. I have Friday off because of the Fourth and then I took Monday off so that we can have a family day at the zoo. I crave more family time and I'm happy to have it.

Speaking of family time I find myself fighting myself with how to spend my very limited time when I'm home. If my house is not picked up and somewhat clean I get grumpy. But then if I'm not getting enough time with my boys I'm grumpy then too. It's a vicious cycle and I'm still trying to figure it out.

Basically I'm trying to get back here where I can just write about all of our fun things. I still want to talk about Father's day and our fun weekends we have been having. That is my new goal. To get back to talking about all of our fun things we have been up to.

Happy Tuesday everyone!


Friday Favorites

When I first got pregnant with Grayson I got the same questions all the time " So will you work after you have the baby?" I always answered yes while secretly hoping there was a way I didn't have to.

Michael and I sat down and tried to figure out our finances but I'm a princess and refused to give anything up. I loved my new Jeep with 4 wheel drive and I neeeeeded that. Basically we spend what we make like most household in 'merica. So I just knew I would have to keep working and that we would have to find something to do with our nugget.

He started at daycare when he was 8 weeks old and a few months after being there it all went down hill. So we switched even though it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do at the time. Now holy crap is it the best decision we ever made.

So I'm listing my top 5 reasons I love our Daycare today because it makes my momma heart feel a little better knowing how much fun he is having and that they love my baby!!

His teacher Miss.Jenny always always always calls him sir. Which puts the biggest smile on my face. Every morning we walk in and she says " Well good morning Sir!" And then my kid reaches for her. He loves going there and playing with his friends. I can count on one hand the times he has cried when I have left daycare and most of the time it was fake.

They keep us so informed. Grayson will be moving up to the next room on July 2nd and they sent home the best letter explaining why he was moving up and what to expect. I love knowing what is going on and it just makes me feel like they really do have his best interest at heart

They do prayer time. Even with the babies and they read bible stories. I love that God is such a big part his day there.

They have the best summer schedule planned out.

Sorry for the blurry iphone picture. But I mean come one Splish Splash week!!!!

The crafts they do! I now have his little one year old hand and foot prints in the shape of a bird for all time!!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend we have a birthday party and then it is just family time!!


More than I expected- A Father's day tribute

When we first talked about having kids Michael's response was "Okay if that's what you want"

He was not very into. He is an only child and has never really been around babies or kids.He also had a different childhood and until we got married had no real desire to be a parent.

Even when our nephew was born he would not hold him until he had full head control and could sit up on his own.

So when we decided to pull the goalie I was excited and nervous. Through my whole pregnancy I would ask him "Can you believe we are going to be parents? I can't wait to hold this little peanut/nugget and kiss it all day long" He would always respond "Yeah it's great". He had no emotion.

I tried to talk to him about it and he always responded with he didn't know what to expect and he would be fine once I pooped out the baby. (If only it was that easy)

Well I didn't get to have a natural birth mostly because I was giving birth to a toddler not an infant. Once they ripped that toddler from my stomach he said something clicked.

He ran right over to that fat chunky boy and started talking to him. I remember very little about the c-section once they said it was a boy but I remember hearing Michael saying over and over again "It's ok your Daddy is here" Then he would yell to me "Babe he calmed down he knows my voice!"

Since I was numb from the boobs down and tore up from the floor up I was bed ridden for the whole afternoon/ night after having him. I was nervous that I would be begging my mom to spend the night with me because Michael didn't know how to change a diaper, or calm down the baby when he cried.

That man of mine walked right up the nurse and said "Okay he pooped show me how to do this" I cried big huge ugly tears because he was right once the baby came he was all good. He changed G's first diaper, and gave him is first bath.He never left my side and was the main care giver for Grayson.

He has learned how to do everything for our nugget that he can. Bath times are all him and he knows how to feed, change and dress that child (although his outfits are sometimes mis matched).

He is not only Grayson's Daddy but his best friend. The boys came to visit me at work the other day and Grayson reached for Michael and one of the girls I worked with said "That has got to kill you that he chose Michael over you" To which I responded. "Nope he exceeded all of my expectations and then some I'm glad he has such a good Daddy"

I have never seen it as choosing one over the other but personally it makes my heart so happy and brings tears to my eyes when I see that. The bond those two have it is so strong and amazing I'm honored to watch it grow.

So here is to you Michael, an amazing father, our boys best friend, our families rock and my hero. I love you!


Just another Manic Monday on Tuesday

That title really has nothing to do with what this post is about but my brain is so random.

I was talking with Michael the other day and told him that I love our life so much and if you would have told me when we first started dating that I would be so happy with what we have now I would have laughed.

I always pictured my life to be different. How I'm not really sure I can't put my finger on it.

Michael is 9 years older than me and while the age difference has never affected our relationship, it has molded it.

I married someone who was ready to buy a house, and have babies, and be responsible.

Now I work a big girl job 5 days, 40 hours a week. 3 days a week I drop off and pick up my bubbie lou from day care and we head home to start on some yard work.

We get excited about planting a garden, and having the pool opened. My nightly routine includes picking up a million and one toys and watering my hanging baskets on the front porch.

Heck my birthday gifts this year were some of those hanging baskets I water every night.

All this to say that my priorities are so different and while most people my age are just starting to get married I have been married for 5 years. And I'm ok with this.

I'm ok with this life that some people look at and declare boring.

I'm happy, I'm blessed, I'm in love with my boys and I'm looking forward to soaking up this calm time because it's not what I thought I would have, it's so so much more.


What been going on

It's been a while since I have done a real update so here it goes.

Michael has the weekend off again and I'm starting to get used to him being around. He plays in a golf tournament on Saturday and then Sunday we are going canoeing. 

We are still chugging along on our yard work. We finally have the pool opened and cleaned now we just need it to warm up so we can start living in it. I personally love having a pool and I often hear that it is a ton of work to have one. Really for us it is about an hour a week that we spend maintaining it. It's worth it for all the happiness it brings.

We are hoping in the next week to get out vegetable garden planted. Michael is in the process of building me a raised garden box. I don't want to have to worry about weeds and so this is a win win.

The stumps are finally all ground and now we just have to clean up that mess. It's a work in progress but we get a ton done in the time that we do have.

Grayson is full on walking now. As in he just stands up and waddles to where ever he wants to go. I'm tempted to push him down but really it's kind of cool when he comes running over to me laughing.

I celebrated 27 years of being born. It was the best day with my husband and then I got to come home to my baby and really it was just perfect. I have ate like crap the past month but have surprisingly maintained my weight so I will call it a win.

Exercising has been non-existent but we recently bought Grayson one of those buggy things for the bike and are going to start going a few times a week. That is once we get all of our yard work done

Speaking of yard work. Michael got all into a few weekends ago with cutting down more trees on our hedge row and well he got poison ivy allll over him. It got so bad that he had to go the doctor to get a prescription. Poor guy. We are in the process of killing it all right now and getting rid of any that G could get to. Oh the joys of being a home owner.

I'm eyeballs deep in a bridal shower planning. I'm so excited but am finding that it is difficult to keep 5 other people involved in my every move since I'm the one doing mostly all of the leg work. It will all work out and I will do whatever I have to to make this the most amazing day for her.

My Mom is making some calls on other options for her surgery. I'm hoping that she can get the one that is done all in one day as opposed to the surgery that could have her going in as many times as it takes to get it out. We are praying and just spending time together.

I think that is it for now

Happy Thursday!


From Dream to Nightmare

I was clearing the yard on Sunday with Michael, it was a disaster from having 5 trees cut down and the grass was starting to look like a hay field.

I had a moment where I just felt this overwhelming sense of joy and I remember saying out loud "Thank you!". I was feeling so blessed and so so happy.

I floated on a cloud of pure and utter bliss all weekend and well into my Tuesday. And then my phone rang.

My Mom sometimes calls me in the middle of the day but I had a flash of "shit something is wrong" It was the same feeling I had when she called to tell me my Grandma had passed. I pushed it away and answered the phone.

She started off by asking me how I was (red flag #2 she normally just asks what I'm doing) I responded with some hesitant comment about good the next words to come out of her mouth broke my heart.

" I promised to always be up front with you and well the doctor just called and I have skin cancer"

The tears came instantly but I pushed them away fast and asked the standard questions. How big, stage, next step.

Unfortunately I know the standard questions when someone has cancer because my mother is one of five biological children and every single one have them has had a form of cancer.

This is the 4th case of cancer in my family in 3 years, all on my mom's side. This is my Mom's second form of cancer in a year and a half. It scares the living shit out of me. The spot that turns out to be skin cancer she has had since I can remember. Half of the spot fell off about 3 months ago she went to the doctor and they removed the rest it grew back a month later and this time they biopsied it and that is where we are now. WHY they didn't biopsy it before will haunt me forever.

I met her after work to pick out glasses something we had planned before she got the phone call. My Mom being the hard ass that she is acted like nothing was wrong. We went in picked out the glasses and then as we were walking out standing by our cars she told me more.

She has a form of skin cancer called Squamous cell skin cancer which isn't the worst but it's not the best either.

She is stubborn as an ass and is not having surgery until June 23rd. She is a teacher and has a trip planned to Washington DC with her class and will not miss it.

I went home last night and demanded ice cream after Grayson went to bed. My husband being the best in the world got it for me and let me blubber like a fool.

You see my Momma is my best friend. I talk to her everyday and I see her at least once a week and she is always saving the day for me. I would be utterly lost without that amazing women in my life.

So I'm crossing everything I can and praying extra hard and long hoping and praying that this turns out to have not spread and that after a few stitches we can move on with our life wearing sunscreen and looking like vampires. 


June 2nd

27 years ago today my wonderful parents got their perfect angel..........ME!!!

Today is my birthday and when asked what I wanted I told Michael I wanted a day shopping at the mall or Target with just the two of us.

So I took the day off and that is what we are doing. Alone time with my husband just us is a gift in and of itself but he promised me clothes so I will take those too.

I hope everyone had a good weekend and I will be back with an update later this week!!

But until then
Check out my fat boy and how stinking cute he is!