Linking up with Andrea today to talk about some struggles
I'm about to let you know how crazy my brain really is and how I struggle through this thing called parenthood and marriage and oh ya know just day to day life
Being a working mom
And all the working Mom's said Amen. I mean really. I love my job I love working outside the home we need me to work outside the home but man some days it is hard. I love my babies. I love being home with them and not having to put on make up everyday. I get overwhelmed with the laundry that piles up (that's a whole struggle on it's own because man we live out of baskets a ton) my house that's not perfect and the small sand castle that is on the floor of my bathroom because I keep getting distracted on my way to get the dust buster. I feel bad that sometimes my kid listens to his teacher at daycare better than me or that my sweet baby girl willingly goes to her teacher when I drop her off in the morning. That pulls at my heart strings like no ones business. But then I pick them up and they have done crafts (really cool hard ones) and they have eaten two new foods (Marshall and Charlotte not Grayson ha!) Those are things that if they were home with me everyday would not happen because I don't have the patience to finger paint with one year old's and I like to serve a variety of cheese and fruit and PB&J.
I read on a blog once that you can be a great employee, a great wife, a great mom but your not going to be great at all of those on the same day and that is so so true!
Being a horrible wife
Okay that's a little over the top but really I'm not always great at being a wife. My kids pull at me and I answer. And then by the time they are in my bed man am I spent. I have very little left to give and some days I'm super selfish and keep that little bit to myself. But I need to be better about this because that man is amazing. He doesn't ask for much he serves our family so so good and he works his tail off to support us. Most days he is exhausted too and so we both look at each other and say "Today was hard but I still love you so much can we just lay here and watch a crap tv show" 9 times out of 10 we are on the same page. But we need to put some more into our marriage. We have a trip planned and we have a few date nights on the calendar. He is the first person I snip at when I'm overwhelmed but he is also the first person to forgive me for the snip and try and help me out of that hole. Our journal that we write love notes back in forth to each other has helped us so much. It's nice to see it in front of you and sometimes on my darkest marriage days I read back through those and it pulls me out.
Equal time with my kids
Man is this hard. I feel like a broken record but twins are a total game changer. I feel like Grayson gets short changed because I can't always go outside because it's almost the babies nap time or lunch time or one of them just pooped you know a million things. But then the babies well they are never apart. In the last year they have been separated maybe 5 times and I try not to think of them as a package deal but most times they are. I feel like they all need some undivided attention but with the ages of the twins it's hard to do that. Michael and I have been discussing this a lot lately mostly for Grayson because he is more aware and we are working on some solutions for this.
Wait what? I'm the worst at this. I pass up a pedicure because I have already been gone from the house for work that day. I pass going for a walk alone because Grayson and Marshall want to come. But sometimes I need it. So I need to work on filling my cup too. You know that whole think that everyone says you can't pour from an empty one well I try to a lot and often it ends in tears from all parties.
Some smaller struggles
Not eating dessert every night because my thighs really don't need it but my heart says enjoy the darn ice cream
Living our of laundry baskets
Relaxing vs. crossing something off the never ending to do list
Can I really go one more day without washing my hair?