10 random things about me (stories included)

I will do a full weekend re-cap tomorrow. But I have to get pictures from my dad and today is one crazy day at work as in I have to what normally takes me 3 days in one day so yeah.

Let's preface this by saying I'm a weirdo of epic proportions and that my husband is a saint for dealing with me.

1- If I get home and it's dark out. I run to the door and lock it behind me as fast as I can I always park super close to the door, unlock it first then hurry hurry hurry to get G out of his car seat and then I run into the house he smiles like it's a game but I'm crapping my pants. I have this strange fear that someone is waiting for me in the woods and is going to strong arm the door open personnap me and kidnap my child.

2- I could eat a whole chocolate cake by myself. Fun fact when I was pregnant I once at 2 whole cans of frosting in a weekend. I then shocked myself when I passed my gestational diabetes test with flying colors a week later.

3- I hear noises in the house every night to the point that I get up go downstairs and check the locks on the doors. Also if I'm home alone you bet your bottom dollar and your top one that those doors are always locked. I'm not insane it's just one time at band camp when I was 18 a guy (who claims is father built the house, which die, it was built in 1906 and he was like 45 it didn't add up to me but then again I'm bad at math) blocked my car in the driveway and proceeded to circle the house and even enter the house.After he came in the house he goes back outside and starts yelling at the house "why did you do this to me you bastard, how could you!" and drops to his knees and starts ripping grass out. I was upstairs with my cell phone crying to my mom and the police officer who works at her school. Finally the cops show up thank gawd and then they bring him to the door! And just let him go because he was crying, now this creep knows what I look like. So it put the fear of God in me and now I'm a freak

4- I love to cook but am a disaster in the kitchen. What I make always tastes good but for some reason I feel the need to use every dish in the house and it looks like tornado has gone through the kitchen.

5- I love doing laundry putting it away on the other hand blah. But I do it anyway or we live out of baskets for a few weeks until they are all used up and then I go into crazy person mode and must put away all the laundry in the house.

6- I cry and freak out over the dumbest things. Example- I went to the store and did my grocery shopping trip my husband had reminded me 953218489 times to get yogurt. I called him so proud of the money I saved he then asked about the yogurt. I had forgotten it and then I cried the whole way home because I had let him down and I'm the worst wife eva.

7- I married my husband after only knowing him for a year. We got engaged after 4 months of dating. People put bets that we wouldn't make a year. Well jokes on them we have been married for 4 years and have one giant child so poop on them. My husband says it would be financially beneficial for us to divorce and so now when he does something dumb I threaten to divorce him and he agrees. I have lost all my power.

8- I'm a weirdo about parties at my house. I cringe when people ask to bring things so most of the time I say just yourself I have everything covered. Here is why A- no one makes it the way I want them to(control freak) B- they don't bring what I want them too so I end up with 10 pans of brownies and only taco meat with no fix ins.

9- I like even numbers. My volume has to be at an even number. When I eat candy- has to be an even number. I get this from my dad he is the same way.

10- I have to put the grocery's on the belt. I have a certain way that I do it. Heavy things first(milk laundry soap, cans) then boxes(cereal, cake mix) then cold stuff (cheese, meat) then bread veggies and eggs. If it goes any other way I have a mini panic attack. I also watch them put things in the bag. I do NOT want my baby food in the same bag as my toilet cleaner something about it makes my heart race.

Hopefully that list makes someone feel normal, because now I realize I need a therapist and medication.