Being a Mom is the most rewarding and gut wrenching job in the whole entire world. Period. I love being a Mom. But more than that I love being Grayson's Mom. He is mine and we know each other. He knows my serious voice, I know is whining voice, he knows my lovey voice, and I know his sad voice. We get each other. I was so nervous that I would not be able to figure my kid out or that I would mess him up somehow.
It starts from the second you become pregnant. All the rules on how to take care of you baby. The eat this not that, use this not that, take these vitamins not that, sleep this way not like that. It is overwhelming and as a first time Mom it can be down right stressful. Afraid to put food in your mouth until you clear it with your doctor is a real thing (it was in my world anyway) but after the 1st trimester I got my sea legs so to speak and I knew what was best for my body and my baby.
Then you have the baby and it starts all over again. Breast is best , and this diaper is what we would suggest, and swaddle your baby this way, burp him like this. The list goes on. I wasn't successful at breastfeeding. Sometimes early on it would bother me that according to some people I had already failed as a mother. I tried oh lord I tried but it wasn't for me. I remember talking to my sister in law and saying to her "how after only 4 days could I have already failed at being is Mama?" She said the best words to me " Listen both my kids were formula fed, and they are pretty darn smart and great if you ask me, and Katlin honestly it is hard enough being a new mom now that you have decided to do formula Michael can help so much more besides you know in your mom gut what you need to do follow it" and she was right. He could take some night feeds on his days off and I could sleep. And my Mom gut said give that baby a bottle.
Then he acid reflux and that was a whole other ball game and I was told that he would probably have to be on the medicine for the long term. I followed my gut and took him off of it at 11 months with the help of a chiropractor. And never looked back. They gave me some looks when I told him he was off of it and doing fine but it really was best for him to not put that in his body anymore.
I guess all I'm trying to say is that I gained my confidence by not listening to the white noise that is pregnancy and motherhood. I followed my gut and did what I felt was best. This is not to say that I don't ask advice because I do and I get frustrated because I do and we have bad days.
But Grayson is a part of me. I have a bond with him no one on this planet will ever have he is my first baby boy. I know him and he knows me and together we ride out this thing called life. I'm not the perfect mother but I know that I'm the Mama that Grayson needs. And that is all that matters to me.
linking up with Stephanie for Mom Talk Tuesday's.