I let it break me

I love to plan parties. It's one of my favorite things to do. And I admit that I always go way over board.

This bridal shower however is a first for me. I have to plan it with six other people.

Hi my name is Katlin and I have OCD.

The one semi-good thing is that most of the girls have been MIA. However that puts a lot of the planning and prepping on my shoulders.

Most of the time I can handle it all but this weekend I broke.

I lost my ever loving mind on my husband, who by the way did NOT deserve it but he is always in my direct line of fire.

I had a full day of shower errands to run. I went to the florist and had a number in my head and then when it was almost double I froze and just paid it. Ahhhhhhhhh about half an hour later when talking to my momma I realized I can't pay that! So now today I have to call and change my order. That thought alone makes my anxiety a 20. I ordered the rest of the desserts, and finished paying the room rental fee. I have about $300 extra dollars of my own money out there until people pay.Which was supposed be due on Friday and three people have not paid yet!!!!

After a weekend from hell with me being a bitch and my husband not understanding what he did (read: he did nothing) we had a long talk last night and the thing is I just get overwhelmed sometimes.

I do it to myself. And then I blame it on him. He is amazing and I'm thankful that he still loves me despite my crazy ass ways.

So the shower is 13 days away. That means I only have 12 days left (including today) to get everything done. I have a list, a time line and a plan. I also have bottles of wine to get me through it.