We are officially done having babies.
I had my tubes tied. This seemed like the best decision for lots of reasons mostly because we felt that our family was complete and since I was already in surgery it was the best option.
We talked about the number of kids we wanted when we first got married. He said one, I said three. We had Grayson and decided that two was our number and that after our second I would have my tubes tied and that would be that.
After having the miscarriage I still strongly felt like two was our number. We had been blessed with one and I remember praying like crazy to God to let us have just one more baby to complete our family.
Well I think he just heard the complete our family party because he blessed us with two more. And I can honestly say that we feel so complete. We have 3 of the most gorgeous kids there ever was, and we just love them so much it hurts. It makes me think that if we would have just had one and I had my tubes tied would I have felt like something was missing? And even though having a miscarriage was hard I get it now why it happened. I wouldn't trade these two nuggets that I have for anything, even that hard time.
But listen there was a part of me that was all sad that it was my last pregnancy, the last time I will get to see a sweet baby held up right after birth, the last time that I get to feel a baby kick me from inside and that I get to rub a giant belly. But I knew it was my last so I pushed that sadness aside and focused on soaking it all in.
With Grayson I spent so much time looking forward to the next big milestone. I think first time parents do this a lot because it's all so exciting. But you see at some point I blinked and bam he is 3 and thinks farts are funny. So now with my sweet Charlotte and Marshall I'm kissing their little noses more and holding them just a little bit longer. I'm not worried about getting them in their cribs, I'm just focusing on smelling that baby smell as long as I can.
I'm just thankful knowing that our family is complete and our hearts our so full of love.