Dear Grayson

Dear Grayson,

This weekend you turn 4. My sweet boy how did that happen?

I mean let me sound like every other mother in the world I feel like I just had you 

I don't know where to start there is so much to say to you.

So let me start with this. 

I love you. Those words don't seem enough but Grayson I love you something fierce. You made my heart a Mama heart and for that you will always be special to me. I'm writing this with tears streaming down my face because I don't know if I can put into words how much I truly love you and how much you have changed me.

I sometimes feel bad for you because you are the first. So we make all of our mistakes with you, and baby boy we mess up a ton. I just hope the extra snuggles make up for it. Well that and the chocolate.

You have the kindest heart. If someone is upset or you feel like you hurt someones feelings you are quick with a hug and I'm sorry. We got some super sad new a few weeks ago and you could tell mommy was sad and you sat on my lap and played with my hair telling me "it's okay Mama I'm here with you forever okay?" The look in your eyes was so genuine and I hope this is a quality you never lose.

You know how to encourage. Sometimes you will walk into the kitchen just to tell me I'm beautiful and sweet. Then you go back to playing. Other times you call me in your room at night just to tell me that I was a good mommy that day. Seriously. The other day your daddy apologized to you for yelling when he shouldn't have and you looked him square in the face and said "it's okay, your still my best daddy! Remember everyone needs forgiveness" We read this Little Critter book about forgiveness and so now you pass it out all the time.

You became a big brother this year. A role that I'm certain the Lord placed in your heart when he created you. You have handled this transition like a champ, exceeding all of our expectations. You beam with pride that you have two babies and claim them always. Your kind to them 90% of the time but there are moments where you push them or rip something from their hands. But I will take that percentage any day. You have to give them kisses when you see them in the morning, and when you see them after school and before they go to bed. You have to sit by them at dinner rather than at the table by us so you now have a chair and tray table so it's like their high chairs. I fear for the days when Marshall is older because I just see tons of wrestling matches and stop touching your brother in my future.

You have the best smile and give the best hugs. You must snuggle me before bed every night and I will never object that. It makes me slow down for a few minutes and just be. I love this time with you and we just talk about anything and everything.

In September you start school and will no longer be with me in the mornings and it makes me a little sad. I love having you with me.

The bottom line is we love you. Like crazy love you and are so blessed that we get to have you in our lives and be your parents.

A few other things I want to remember about you at age 4

-You love footy pajamas. They must be super hero!
-You have branched out with food and have added pizza, hot dogs, peas, and chicken nuggets to your will eat list.
-You say mines instead of mine and I love it
-You have the best imagination and often cook me chicken fish bagels with sprinkles and a side of beer.
-You want to be just like Daddy when you grow up. Drive big trucks and have 3 kids that is what you always say when asked.
-You talk to Jesus like hes a friend and I love that so so much.
-You have a hunger for learning and I hope you never lose that
-You have the prettiest gold/hazel eyes that are so animated!

Happy 4th Birthday my love!