10.04.2016

To the soon to be twin mommy/new twin mommy

I've been a twin Mommy for about six months now and man is it the most rewarding, yet draining thing ever. To be in it is the only way to understand it. This letter has been on my heart for a few weeks because sometimes you just need to know your not alone.


Dear soon to be twin mommy/new twin mommy,

Her girl! Congrats to joining this crazy world of being a mom to twins. It's crazy. Like really crazy. But it's beautiful. The pregnancy was not easy because ya know twins makes you high risk automatically, silver lining of that you get more sonograms!!! Who doesn't loves seeing those babies more. If you're near the end I get it honey your stomach feels like it's going to rip the eff open. It won't but I get it, I feel your pain. Walking to the bathroom is a marathon and you might be at the stage where you wonder if this is the time that huffing and puffing yourself off the couch will be the time that your water breaks.

Even if you have your babies early it's okay. God has a great plan. Pre-term labor will probably happen at some point. For me it hit at about 32 weeks. Super thankful that it happened though because it allowed for me to get the shots for the babies lungs. Which was awesome news when I went into real labor at 35 weeks. If your a first time mom just take it easy, let people take care of you and rest as much as you can. Trust me, your body is going to keep breaking down even more just relax. If your a second time mama (like me) this is torture for you. This will rip your heart out. Because you feel awful not being able to take care of your other babies. But you have to do it. You are the only one that can grow these beautiful babes. So just breath, cry when you feel like you need to, and hug and kiss your first born as much as you can. Accepting help was hard for me but I was so thankful for it because like I said going to the bathroom was a marathon.

Now here is something important, listen to your body. You are the one who knows it best.

When I went into the hospital again thinking it wasn't the real deal (spoiler alert it was) I was in so much pain. I was ready to meet my babies. But so so so nervous. How was I going to do it? Have two newborns? Forget the fact that I had a 3 year old and going to one baby would have been an adjustment now I was going to have TWO. TWO of them!

Let me tell you this the second they come your heart says "girl you got this" the love you feel and the relief I had that they were here and healthy and safe and I could kiss them what just amazing. It's okay to sob when you hear that first baby cry and then hold your breath until you hear the second scream.
It's okay that your first question is "they are okay right? and they can come home with me right?"
It might take them a few seconds, minuets, hours to be released from the nursery if they are born early (before 38 weeks). Just breath it will all be good. Pray like crazy because praying will become your go to.

Girl, Hug and kiss on those babies. I found that even when I was exhausted and tired and feeling myself becoming frustrated because "why won't they sleep already?!?!?!?!?" That I would just hold them and kiss them and be thankful for them. They are such a miracle and not one that everyone gets so soak it all in. But don't get it twisted I found myself in my sleep deprived state often times saying things like "why don't you love mommy I just neeeed to sleeeeep, pleeeease close your eyes!" It happens. Then they will make eye contact with you and your mush.

They will flip flop their personalities more times than you can count. In the hospital Charlotte was my easy eater and burper, and Marshall was so difficult. Fast forward 2 weeks and he is easy peasy and she is hard. Around 2 months Marshall was the most fussy baby known to man, he would only sleep in the swing and it took an hour to feed him 4 ounces. Now at four months she will yell when she is done being on her activity mat and she fights her night time bottle like a champ. They keep you on your toes that's for sure. No two feedings are the same, no day is the same, and just when your all I got this one of them will throw up, while your changing the other ones diaper and your three year old just dumped ice water all over the floor (not that that happened to me, just kidding it did)

Your going to go through a million and one emotions all within an hour.Crying because they are getting big too fast is normal. Then freaking out because holy cow they go through a ton of diapers, and oh my gosh how will we pay for two of everything all at once will race through your mind. Totally normal. Insane but normal. And don't even get me started on the body issues after having twins. Who knew a stomach could look like a deflated basketball. Plus I looked like I was still pregnant for a long long time after having those babies. Buy a good support girdle and keep it moving that's all you can do.

You and your partner will become a great team. You will have to depend on each other more than you know. Pick up the slack when he is down and he will do the same for you. Divide and conquer will be your new thing. Preparing to do anything takes some serious planning. All the bottles, burp cloths, bibs, extra clothes, diaper, wipes. It all has to come with you x2 and that's a ton. Plus you will freak out on him for the dumbest things (like the babies not wearing matching PJ's) when you realize your being crazy just say sorry. He will laugh at you and you will move on.

You got this girl. All of it. You were made to be the mommy to these babies, you can do this and you will do this. You will survive those hard hard days, and you will make it to the easy days and love every second. Just know from one mommy to another I'm here cheering you on, in your corner telling you those feelings are all okay to have and that asking for help is ok. Enjoy those babies mommy.


Sincerly,

A Twin Mommy who is still trying to figure it all out and not lose her mind daily.