Skip to main content

From Dream to Nightmare

I was clearing the yard on Sunday with Michael, it was a disaster from having 5 trees cut down and the grass was starting to look like a hay field.

I had a moment where I just felt this overwhelming sense of joy and I remember saying out loud "Thank you!". I was feeling so blessed and so so happy.

I floated on a cloud of pure and utter bliss all weekend and well into my Tuesday. And then my phone rang.

My Mom sometimes calls me in the middle of the day but I had a flash of "shit something is wrong" It was the same feeling I had when she called to tell me my Grandma had passed. I pushed it away and answered the phone.

She started off by asking me how I was (red flag #2 she normally just asks what I'm doing) I responded with some hesitant comment about good the next words to come out of her mouth broke my heart.

" I promised to always be up front with you and well the doctor just called and I have skin cancer"

The tears came instantly but I pushed them away fast and asked the standard questions. How big, stage, next step.

Unfortunately I know the standard questions when someone has cancer because my mother is one of five biological children and every single one have them has had a form of cancer.

This is the 4th case of cancer in my family in 3 years, all on my mom's side. This is my Mom's second form of cancer in a year and a half. It scares the living shit out of me. The spot that turns out to be skin cancer she has had since I can remember. Half of the spot fell off about 3 months ago she went to the doctor and they removed the rest it grew back a month later and this time they biopsied it and that is where we are now. WHY they didn't biopsy it before will haunt me forever.

I met her after work to pick out glasses something we had planned before she got the phone call. My Mom being the hard ass that she is acted like nothing was wrong. We went in picked out the glasses and then as we were walking out standing by our cars she told me more.

She has a form of skin cancer called Squamous cell skin cancer which isn't the worst but it's not the best either.

She is stubborn as an ass and is not having surgery until June 23rd. She is a teacher and has a trip planned to Washington DC with her class and will not miss it.

I went home last night and demanded ice cream after Grayson went to bed. My husband being the best in the world got it for me and let me blubber like a fool.

You see my Momma is my best friend. I talk to her everyday and I see her at least once a week and she is always saving the day for me. I would be utterly lost without that amazing women in my life.

So I'm crossing everything I can and praying extra hard and long hoping and praying that this turns out to have not spread and that after a few stitches we can move on with our life wearing sunscreen and looking like vampires. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Four Things right now

Four things about all of us right now... Grayson One- This boy has finally found his groove in 1st grade. Kinder to 1st was a big adjustment but he's doing well now. And he is a spelling champ! He does sooooo good on his spelling tests! Two- Hockey is life for this kid. He skates twice a week (once doing a hockey specific clinic and once doing family skate see below) His skills are really growing Three- He loves reading and so we are riding that wave all the way. Four- He has to wear his glasses full time now. What started out as hey wear these when you watch TV that is farther away or when you sit farther from the board has turned into needing them full time. Our school has a local organization that comes in and does eye assessments for free for the elementary schools and they sent home a letter saying get him to the eye doctor he needs glasses (well that was the jist of it) and we since we already had glasses from his eye doctor he just started with tho...
Post a Comment
Read more

A nice little sweet spot

The sweet spot…. We seem to have hit one. I feel like we have not been in a sweet spot since the twins were about 6 months old. You know before they were mobile and can get into a ton of mischief. When kids are 0-6 months they still like to be held they eat mostly bottles and they mostly just stay in one spot. No issues, you can go places and even though you have to pack up your whole house to be prepared you can relax. And if you are in my family someone is always willing to hold or feed or change a baby. 7-months to 2.5 years old is what I refer to as the lost years. You have so many things you have to do for them they are not potty trained and they are mobile and get into EVERYTHING. Going outside is more work than its worth and with twins they scatter in opposite directions. Three on one is so hard handle in big open spaces. I would often find myself skipping outside time because the work was just too much for me. When the twins turned 3 and Grayson was 6 it felt like we had a ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Conferences, Grocery Pick up and trying to get out the door

I had grand plans to document our day on Friday. I was going for an every hour sort of thing and then after the 3rd hour lost track I will shoot for next Friday though we will see I'm off on Friday's ( all the happy faces for a 4 day work week and the $$$ saved on daycare ) It was our February break from school so Grayson is home too. I get up at 6:15 on Fridays which is sleeping for me because during the week I'm up at 5 and I head downstairs to do a workout. I'm in a funk right now with that stuff but I still move my body. Today I did a 10 min arm video and 10 min lower body video. I stretch for a few mins and I'm done just in time for Grayson to come wandering down the stairs. I chug some water. Check in with Michael and head upstairs to get Marshall and Charlotte from their beds. They both woke up dry (we are in the throws of potty training and are still in pull ups at night for now) They charge downstairs yelling that they have to pee and demanding...
Post a Comment
Read more