Simply the Smith's

I had my surgery yesterday and it was a tough day. I felt all the emotions within an hour. Waiting four days and just willing my body to work on it's own was hard. It felt wrong. It felt foreign. I willed the cramps to come because it meant that it really was a loss. When I felt the first pains on Saturday night I thanked God because it meant it was real. Up until then my irrational side held out hope that it was just wrong. The technician was wrong, the doctor was wrong, the machine was broken. When we went to register you have to sign a paper giving consent to have the procedure done. It says "I elect to have this procedure" That was my first break down. I kept thinking I'm not electing to do this. If I had my way I wouldn't be here. I would be telling the world that I was expecting my second child. I was scheduled for 10 but didn't go in until 12. I had to listen to one women say she was thankful for her baby not having a heartbeat because she just

June 25,2015 will be a day I will never forget. It should have been a happy day. It should have been a day of sharing lots of happy news with our family. Instead we found out that we lost our baby. My head and heart are still not matching up on this. We found out we were pregnant on May 19,2015. It was 2 days before my monthly bill but I just knew I was. I went a week later to confirm at my doctors and the nurse actually told me she was surprised how fast it turned positive. A good thing to hear when you are pregnant that you have lots of those hormones. So we waited until our next appointment on June 25th. When we would be exactly 9 weeks pregnant. We did our welcome interview went over the do's and don'ts and the whole "yay a baby!" thing. Then we went in the exam room after he checked my pulse and listened to my heart he pulled out the Doppler. Yes the moment I was waiting for. Only it wasn't. He couldn't find the heartbeat at all. So h

Sometimes it's nice to just write about what is going on. So here it goes....... I took Grayson to the store with me to grab a gift card. We can into Dollar General the store I have a love/hate relationship with. The isle's are so crowded and there are a million and one things for Grayson to grab. Needless to say he grabbed tic-tacs, a phone charger and certs all within the first 2 seconds of being there. Once I got him wrangled he asked for a "Dora ba-la-loon" (balloon) I agreed since he had gotten a super good report from school that day. And hey it was a dolla so why not. So we get the balloon, the gift card, and the cards I needed for father's day and head to checkout. Where he grabs to candy bars and laughs because he knows it's naughty. Anyway we get cashed out after lots of redirection and head to the car where he does not want to hold my hand in the parking lot because he wants to run! So I grab his arm and the whole time he is yelling "no m

This weekend we headed to my husband old stomping grounds as a family for the first time and it was wonderful. My husband left home and moved to Syracuse (about a 2.5 hour drive from where we grew up) at the young age of 17. He had no job, no place to live he just moved on a whim and stayed there for almost 10 years.  He always says that Syracuse is where he cut his teeth and grew up. We have been back a few times since we got married but this was our first time going with Grayson and it was wonderful. Michael got a call about 2 months ago from his boss asking him if he would represent the company in a driving competition out in Syracuse.All expenses paid. After thinking about it we jumped at the chance. They encourage families so tag along and so I roped my Dad into going with us so that when Michael was "working" I would have someone to explore with Grayson and I.  We left Thursday after I got out of work. We pulled out of our driveway at 4:15. We stopped

We went last week and got iPhone 6's. We had the 4s and so it was time for an upgrade. Plus it had been 3 years since we got new ones.  So one day after work we headed to the Sprint store and walked out in less than an hour and no money down with new phones. As with new phones there is a learning curve and getting adjusted period. Somethings have changed and one night I accidentally snapped this picture of my bed side table.   I almost deleted it and then I thought about how this little space says so much about me. First thing I notice is that sticker. Grayson got it on a trip to Walmart and he kept it on the whole day. Well he woke up the next morning with it still on and he wanted it off right that second so there it went on my side table. Next would be that nice monitor that hums in my ear all night and lets me know when my boy needs me. Next up is all the books.  Total Money Makeover- I refer back to this all the time while we are on our debt

Today is my 28th birthday. I always sit the eve of my birthday and reflect on where I was 5-7 years ago.  21 I feel like is really the marker year to look back in think wow look how far I have come. 3 days before I turned 21 my boyfriend and I broke up. I was upset but was not going to let it ruin my birthday. When I was 21 I was excited to have my first legal drink. I chose to rent a limo and have my family only come with me. I loved this then and even more now because I don't look back and have some ex boyfriend with me.  We drank way to much, we danced, we laughed, we still have inside jokes from that night and it was a blast. I remember my wish that night. When I blew the foam off my birthday beer (it's a family tradition to blow out the foam and not the candles we are weird) I wished for my happily ever after.  I know what I thought that was in my head.  But the vision in God's head was so much more. Less than 2 months later I met M

I fell off the goal wagon. And today I'm hopping back on. Writing out goals for the month really help me keep moving so here goes nothing 1- PLANT GARDEN BOX- I know it's kind of late to plant however we had a frost so I held off so that I didn't lose all my plants. My plan is to plant it one night this week. It's only 5 plants (3 tomatoes 2 peppers) so it shouldn't take me too long. I already have my herb pots planted and we have been enjoying those! 2- FINISH FRONT PORCH- I put some TLC into our front porch this year. I put a nice bistro table set up there and got a plant stand for our herb pots plus I added a bunch of hanging baskets. It's a nice place to enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning or a night cap. Now I just need to clean it up and put a few last pieces out. 3-TAKE FAMILY PICTURES- This is a freebee. I already have these scheduled for the end of June. My whole family (brother and his family, parents, sister, an